Ways to Remember
I don't think there is a parent out there who does not remember their child who has died. Each day is a reminder.
But sometimes, it feels good to do something extra special in remembrance of them. Joanne Cacciatore, founder of MISS and mother to Cheyenne, started what is now known as "The Kindness Project", where parents are encouraged to do random acts of kindness in remembrance of their children.
With calling cards saying, "This random act of kindness is done in memory of my son/daughter", parents have been known to anonymously pay the bill for a family out at dinner, or donate baby items for flood victims. Some donate toys to children's hospitals, or books to libraries. Others donate their time as volunteers. Many have worked to make the hospital experience less overtly painful for new generations of bereaved parents by presenting hospital staff with guidelines for the bereaved. Even the smallest changes, such as not putting a newly bereaved parent on the post-natal ward, can make a huge impact.
We still miss our children terribly, this doesn't change. Yet somehow, doing meaningful things in rememberance of our children helps us so much. It feels good to share our children with others and it helps us feel as though their lives have purpose and that there can be a positive side to this tragedy.
To visit the Kindness Project, please click HERE.
Some Ideas
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I think gardens are wonderful. I would love to plant a rememberance garden or donate a tree. These are things on my list to do.
Go someplace new each year on your childs birthday - My friend Donna does this. Such a great idea!
Donate toys for a Christmas Appeal.
Create a special place in your home that is just for your child. We created the alter in the above picture as a place of refection.
Make clothes and quilts for babies in the NICU. A wonderful organization in the USA called, Newborns in Need, has patterns to get you started. Very tiny clothes are especially needed for very premature babies who have died.
Make things in memory of your child. I have made paintings and drawings. Kieron made casts of Imogen and Søren's hands, feet and faces. Kieron's dad made a beautiful box for us to store Søren's ashes. He chose wood from 3 continents to reflect Søren's heritage - North America, Australia, and New Zealand. We love it. Other friends and family have written letters and poems.
Include your children's names on Christmas cards as a way of remembering them and keeping them part of the family.
Contribute to a charity in your child's name. We contribute to CareFlight, Australia. We feel especially close to those persons who need critical care. This is one of the bears we received for Imogen from CareFlight - her nursey bear.
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Søren's First Birthday
Søren's Second Birthday
Søren's Third Birthday
Søren's Fourth Birthday
Søren's Star - The International Star Registry
Søren's Really Cool Aussie Birth Certificate
Søren's Birth Announcement
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