So the season's over. And for me, hockey withdrawal started the second I realized that my team wouldnt be lifting the Cup this season (wait...that hasn't fully happened yet...get back to me in a couple of months). In the summertime heat in Dallas, well, this year, in the summertime rain, you'd think that there's not much you could do to find sustenance for an addiction to hockey, but you're wrong. One of my steps in the 12-step program of Moving On From Last Season includes listing things that I could do during the summer that could almost equal the hockey season. And I'll share my list with you.

Make a picture collage that represented your team's season.
Yes, the return to kindergarten. Of course, when I did that last year, it was far more joyous, but I'll make one this year, as soon as I come to the realization that the season is actually over. And if your team's season was too painful to relive, just get some pictures of your favorite player and glue them on a poster in a neat manner. And then you can put it on your wall and look at it every day!

Go to Icebound, or your local rink, and watch some random hockey game.
Sure, people look at me strangely when I do that, but that's never stopped me before. And if you arbitrarily choose a team to cheer for, it's almost the same. And that's all I ask for: some simulation of the real thing.

I would say go watch some roller hockey, but this season is cancelled...so can't help us there. But keep the RHI in mind next summer. Another option is watching the PBHL...not the puckbunny hockey league (hahaha), but the pro-beach hockey league. Sometimes, when ESPN has no bowling options, they'll show a few pro-beach games on ESPN2.

Stay tuned to ESPN classic.
Occasionally they'll be kind and run a Frozen in Time hockey game and you can see certain players when they were itty...or watch old school hockey. I doubt they'll run these now, but during the playoffs this year, ESPN ran old, 30 minutes segments on early-90s playoffs, which included the 1991 Minnesota North Stars run to the Finals, and a tiny Michael Modano with the feathered golden hair. His hair alone should inspire you to watch. That, and any chance to see a young Joey Nieuwendyk.

Go to the sports section at Borders or any bookstore.
Amazingly enough, they have a pretty stellar shelf-full of hockey related books which include some pretty books of photos from previous seasons. And it's always a trip to see a picture which captures Kirk Muller as a Maple Leaf backchecking on Mike Modano.

If you get really really desperate, the neighborhood children usually have a street hockey game going on at some point of the day...and there is very little in the world that is cuter than a bunch of 10 year olds playing any sort of hockey.

Hockey cards!
If you already have a collection, summertime is the perfect time to build it up. Go out and get all the cards (uh, all the affordable ones...I'll never be able to get a game-used jersey card of Sydor) of your favorite player, or try to get your hands on the most obscure card. (Bonniebunny is still looking for the Derek-Plante-in-a-leather-jacket Buffalo Sabres card...if you guys have any information on that particular one, email us!) And if you dont have a collection of hockey cards, start one. Sure, it gets to be an expensive obsession, but very few obsessions arent expensive. If you're looking to start one, Ebay is a great as a way to lay a foundation and buy lots of cards of your favorite team. And if you want Stars cards, go down to JW's on Preston and Beltline...theyve got individual cards for sale and various other neat Stars things that I can't afford.

Watch hockey movies.
The Mighty Ducks movies are classics--you can't go wrong with those. And of course, with the first one, you get Mike and his "Oh yeah, I heard you were a farmer...take it easy" film debut. You're not a Stars fan unless you can quote that. More movies you can't go wrong with: classics like Slapshot, Youngblood, H E Double Hockey Sticks (yes, the disney movie with Will Friedle and Matt Lawrence. Hey, it's a quality movie). We bunnies just saw Mystery, Alaska, which at least I give a pair of ears up. Its a damn good movie, and there are lots of pretty boys in it. Including Hank Azaria. It's out on video, so go rent it.

Whip out those old tapes from the past few seasons.
I don't expect people to be like me and record everything obsessively, and thus have the last two seasons on tape, but you guys should at least have a few playoff games on tape--ie last years' Finals or Game 7 of the WCF (last year's) if you prefer a Ralph and Razor called Game. And who doesn't?

MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL:

READ BRETT HULL'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY
If all our talk about and quotation from it hasn't motivated you people to read the greatest autobiography ever, I will have a complete, obsessively glowing book review up on it soon. Honestly, you're only cheating yourself if you don't read this book. People should not die before they read his book.

And there you have it. These things should consume at least, 2 weeks of the offseason, if you do them all. Actually, if you follow through with the card collection right, that could very well take a month itself. When your team wins the Cup, the offseason is not nearly long enough (which was actually unarguable last season...why does Jersey get such a long offseason to enjoy the Cup? The Stars got an abnormally short one...thats not fair...), but we cant demand that our players play hockey all year round, unfortunately. September's really not THAT far away...is it? *sniff* I WANT HOCKEY...

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The Langenbrunner-Morrow Conspiracy Buttercup's Bubble of Hatred A Day in the Playoff Life of Buttercupbunnie