Hello little children...I come to you once again, full of insightful commentary
on things. THINGS! Today you will be introduced to the massive energy
that is my, uh..."negative attitude towards." Yes, I did just end a sentence
with a preposition. I'm quite apologetic. Anyway, I will discuss
a few things I dislike, and since this is (almost) restricted to the hockey
world, there really isn't as much as there could be. Which is good.
Because i DO have a crazy temper. (and btw, this is taking me a lot of
energy to use correct apostrophation and capitalization, so i hope you people
appreciate
it). Onward! (forwards, not backwards! upwards, not downwards!
and twirling always TWIRLING towards freedom!...sorry, obligational Simpsons
reference.)
Certain Refs
I don't like blaming games on referrees. I usually give them slack, since
I know it can be difficult making the right calls, and everyone makes a mistake.
Usually, refs aren't that bad. But there are just certain ones that need
to go back to Referreeing School one more time, such as Don Koharski, Bill McCreary,
and Mick McGeough. (that was probably grossly misspelled, but I don't
really care, and no one else should care) Where to start with Koharski?
Is he bitter that his name was used
antagonistically in Wayne's World? He doesn't like Dallas; why, I haven't
quite figured out yet, but whatever reason, he never seems to be able to make
a call in the Stars' favor, because the Stars clearly can do nothing right.
I don't say this often, but he should follow Schoenfield's advice and get another
donut...and while's he at it, he should leave the referreeing profession for
good. Bill McCreary just has it out for Dallas. He seems like a
decent enough ref in any game in which the Stars do not participate in, but
once he gets a game which the Stars play in, he swallows the whistle. Hey,
McCreary, it's okay to make a call in the Stars' favor. And when you're
referreeing with Koharski, it wouldn't kill you to make any call, just
so Koharskis not making all the decisions in a game. That's a scary scary
thing. And as for McGoeaugh or however that name is spelled, he's just
a bad ref period. In every game I've seen him in, he's been guilty of
a the following: 1). missing major calls (ie the Chicago game when Jamie Langenbrunner
got crosschecked with McGeough standing right there), 2).
calling stupid penalties (in the same Chicago game there were plenty of his
stupid calls), and 3).calling penalties, just on the completely wrong people
(see the first game the Stars played in Atlanta this season. He couldnt
get the right guy). And so those are a few of the guys who I expect shoddy
referreeing from. Enough time wasted on them. I continue with...
Hockey Whores
From the blind to the stupid. The hockey whores. You know who they
are...the ones that look exactly the same...they've got the same hair (you pick
em, they're either all the same shade of "chocolate brown" or blond...or they've
got the same golden highlights), they wear the same clothes, they have the same,
unnatural tan that just wouldn't happen unless you visited a tropical island
every weekend, and, in Texas, they've got the increasingly obnoxious accent.
They apparently find it endearing. It might be on anyone else. It's
like highschool all over again when you're around them! (you're right,
im not out of high school yet...but i'd like to pretend i am) They know
nothing about hockey, and I can't emphasize enough how scary
it is that they all look the same. There are whores on every level of
hockey, and if you aren't familiar with what a whore is, they're epitomized
with this story: At the Ft. Worth Brahmas game, quite a few months ago, your
favorite bunnies were fortunate enough to obtain 2nd-row-behind-the-Brahmas-bench
seats. As we four happy chicas were thoroughly enjoying the WPHL style
of hockey we previously hadn't been exposed to, we noticed a large amount of
whores in the stands, but we ignored them, like we usually do. Midway
through the third, 2 girls went up to the bench and starting knocking on the
glass behind it, calling out "Stefan! Stefan!", obviously one of the Brahmas
players. We looked at each other, incredulous of what we just saw.
I mean, there's stupidity, and then there's the hockey whore. Stefan would
have gotten his ass kicked if he turned around. (For the record, Stefan didn't
turn around). And so that started my crusade against hockey whores.
And i'll take this opportunity to clarify the difference between a puckbunny
and a hockey whore (at least this is the way I choose to interpret it).
A puckbunny knows about hockey, if not fanatically like us, then at least enough
of the basics of hockey to be
tolerable. Whores, on the otherhand, are there for the guys. This
is what you'd hear from a whore (direct quote we overheard in the stands at
a hockey game): "Oh my god, how could anyone like him? He's so ugly."
This is what you'd hear from a puckbunny (or at least something I'd say): "Oh
he's so cute, and he plays such great defense and he's always in position...there's
nothing cuter than a forward who has a great sense of position." (yeah,
im crazy i know...but i have actually said that). I don't deny that I
look at the guys when I'm at hockey games. It's one of those things I
don't really have control over. But I like better players more than I
like cute players.
St. Louis
I just have some massive problems with St. Louis. The Blues are mean.
They steal our players--the Bassen ordeal was just bitchy. And it's not
like Bobby plays all the time either. And I happened to be at a Tornado-St.
Louis Sting game when I got hit by a puck, and it was a Sting player who was
trying to clear the zone who last touched the puck, so...yeah. I have
no doubt the people of St. Louis are nice; in fact ive meet a few guys from
St. Louis just in the past 3 weeks who were great people and great hockey fans.
It's just a pity the sports teams in the area have to suck so much. (I
hate the Cardinals and I'm not a big Rams fan either). Oh yeah, and they've
got Pavol Demitra. How much eviler does it get? (Although I adore Marty Reasoner...it's
such a pity that he plays for the Blues).
Drunk Guys
Let me make the distinction. Funny drunk guys are fine. They're
entertaining and great and awesome to talk to. Scary drunk guys are bad.
Especially when they're ugly and fat and say obscene things and try to hit on
you. ICKY! But that's the story of my life. The fat, ugly,
scary drunk men hit on me. But one cute 18 year old? No such
luck. But that's another
rant, isn't it?
Instigating Minor
Here's my validation...the only thing that really matters about hockey.
I despise the instigating minor. I think it's a ridiculous rule, and I
see how the NHL has good intentions, but it's also quite obvious how wrong this
rule is. (the next FOX show: when NHL rules go bad) The instigating
minors punishes teams for protecting their star players, and you'd think since
many of these star players have spoken out against this minor, the NHL would
listen, since the star players are the ones who need the most protection. What
the instigating minor really does is protect the cheapshot players who won't
fight because they can't, but still take out talented players (how ya doing
there, bryan marchment? are you sure you don't want to fight grant marshall
again, cuz i could see you getting your ass kicked over and over and over and
over...). It's not that hard to understand...instigating minor=protecting
cheapshot artists=bad. No, it's not quite as catchy as knowing your calculus
and U + Me = Us, but it's simple enough. Hey NHL. Change this. NOW!
So that was long and fun. I'm sure you all enjoyed reading it. If you actually did read the whole thing, I commend you. Have an invisible sticker! It says "I can read!" YAY! Till next time...buhbyes from wherever the hell I am...buttercupbunny.
ButtercupBunnie Archives
The Langenbrunner-Morrow Conspiracy
Buttercup's Bubble of Hatred
A Day in the Playoff Life of Buttercupbunnie
Top 10 Ways to Combat Hockey Withdrawal
A Lot of What You Need to Know about Puckbunnies and Hockey Whores