you can never be more aware of pucks...trust me...i know...

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE STARS I KNEW?!?!?!

March 21, 2001.

Stephen Malkmus, of Pavement fame, rolls into town, and I, along with a couple of friends, am firmly planted less than 3 feet away from the Indie-Rock God at the Gypsy Tea Room.

Why do you care?

Well, Malkmus comes out on stage, taking his own luxurious time of course, and says, “How about those Stars? Yeah…the Stars. *Pause* I’m not talking about us.” If Malkmus ever cares to know, the chick who went crazy when he said that…that was me. Although he definitely heard me since, let me emphasize once more, I was RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. Sorry. I get carried away with that.

Anyway, at the time, I didn’t know why Malkmus said that; I was becoming absolutely enamored with a certain Conor Oberst* when that night’s game was actually taking place. I just figured the Stars had won. What I didn’t figure was that the Stars won so much that the Mighty Ducks are basically contracted to be the Stars’ bitches.

It was an 8-0 final, and Brett Hull scored 4 goals.

Four goals.

That’s four more goals than Hull will score as a Star next season, it seems. Or the season after that. Or the one after that.

Does anyone understand how traumatized I am as I write this?

I can brag to be one who actually wanted Hull in Dallas three years ago, to have been so excited at the prospect of Hull being a Star that the day he was inked, I skipped—SKIPPED, I said!

I was fortunate enough to be at the Mariners-Rangers game that night when Hull threw out the opening pitch (nice touch there, btw, Mr. Hicks. When can we expect Turgeon?) and I was beyond ecstatic. I think I cheered louder then than the rest of the game. Most people weren’t in agreement with me though, most weren’t as enthused. “Hull’s a cancer in the lockerroom,” they said, “He’s old, washed out.” “Good luck with that,” they laughed, “like Hull could be the Answer.”

But Hull went on to score The Goal of the franchise, and I will be the first one to loudly proclaim that I don’t want to see him go.

I can’t speak to what went on in the lockerroom; I can’t say for certain that Hull and Hitch didn’t monumentally clash, or that everything was puppies and daisies, but what I can say is that I don’t want a Hull-less Stars. Think about it. This means no more “Hull-itzer” and “Hull-uva” puns in the headlines, no more winking Hulls for promo shots, and no more pink tape, for God’s sake! It means a lot less character on a team who has already given away Mike Keane (and please do NOT get me started on that. I’m not ready, and the world is not ready, for that just yet).

I am not Bob Gainey by any means, but Donald Audette? Mad propz for what Audette did last season, but Hull was willing to take less money than presumably market value for a guy who scored almost 40 goals last season, and we sign Audette. Well, you can’t use the excuse of getting younger; Audette’s not exactly Lecavalier (see, had that happened, I would’ve TOTALLY understood) in more ways than one. I would give Hull the offensive edge over Audette. Again, there are lots of things that I am not privy to, and the whispers of discontent could very well be true. But couldn’t we have at least tried to get younger in losing Hull and Keane?

We trade away two young prospects in Bouck and Jackman, we sign three 30+ year old free agents, and we all know that the Stars have a serious issue in the prospect department. So how does this help? The Stars need some speed up front on wing and they need some young kids chipping in with the scoring. Marty Reasoner was traded and HE ISNT OURS. There is absolutely no excuse for that, and Mike Keane being gone.

But back to Brett Hull. I mourn the day that Hull is officially no longer a Star. I am not ashamed to fully appreciate everything that Hull has done for the Stars in the past 3 years and with the Stars in the past 3 years. I thank him for all the memories: from that opening pitch at the Rangers game to the New Years’ Eve dramatics with #600 to the 4 goals against Anaheim on March 21, 2000, and especially for The Goal. I thank him for the controversy behind The Goal, even though he didn’t intentionally create it, because now, for years and years to come, people will always remember it and who scored it.

I, for one, am damn proud that Brett Hull was a Dallas Star. And no matter what happens, even if Audette or Turgeon or Kamensky goes on a scores the Cup-winning goal next year, I'll still wish Hull was on the team.

Good luck and best wishes to you, Brett. And I’m sorry we never actually met and/or chilled because I think we would’ve gotten along fabulously. Plus, I have a few questions to ask you about your autobiography...

J/k

Laters alligators,

buttercupbunnie

*conor is the lead singer of a fabulous band: bright eyes. bright eyes opened for malkmus.