The Bess Report 2002
Direct from the paws of Bess in 2002
11/12/02
Oh dear. I've been bad. So bad. No, I haven't dug up the garden, nor have I stolen any food. (There haven't been any opportunities lately.) But I HAVE taken much too long to write in here!
Merry Christmas to you all! I trust you are in the throes of the frenzied pre-Christmas rush of present shopping that sees humans imitating headless chickens in the most convincing manner since...well, since the beginning of time. I personally prefer to purchase my presents on-line.....no, wait - what am I saying? I'm a dog. I don't do Christmas shopping. One of the perks of the 'dog's life' you might say *toothy grin*.
So what HAVE I been doing then? Well... the usual. Eating, sleeping, scratching, frolicking, snoring, waggling. Those pesky humans have taken to bathing me quite frequently, which rather annoys me as it robs me of my hard-earned dust collection. But never fear, the only long term effect of such behaviour is that my fervent desire to roll around in the dirt is increased. Hence each dirt collection is bigger and better. Currently I stand at 8 days and no bath! I do, however, have a sneaking suspicion that the next batch of suds are not too far away. Cross your paws for me!
Take care all, and don't get too stressed out in your festive preparations! Remember the true spirit of the season and the things that are really important.
My best waggles,
~Bess
P.S. To all the other canines out there with humans who are rather averse to early mornings. I've honed my "wakey wakey jump-on-head" technique to such an art that all I need do now is approach in an optimistic manner, say at about 7am, and my person is immediately alert and bounces out of bed to open the door for me. Well perhaps not quite so perkily, but the trick does work. People don't like dogs on their heads. And the bigger you are, the better it works.
2/8/02
Woof! We're still deep in the heart of Winter here but we've had a week of such beautiful weather. I've been following the Commonwealth Games with some interest - but *yawn* the Australians are just far too good for everybody else that it's beyond a joke.
Just lately I've taken up a habit that I think is rather endearing...however the humans don't seem to agree! When I think it's about time G got up (this varies depending on my mood) I climb up onto her HEAD (quite literally) and stand on her. It does do the trick however!
I'm also going a little stir-crazy and tend to 'rake' at G and clamber up on on her when I think it's dinner time. This is not received well either! But I say, "forget the end of daylight savings, I don't care if it was months ago. I don't want to wait another hour for my dinner!" Unfortunately my demands are ignored completely *sigh*.
Hmm I think it's about time I went for a walk in the forest, I can hear the kookaburras laughing outside - I'm sure they're hinting at something!
Take care!
~Bess
5/7/02
I was surfing the net in my usual fashion today (looking for pictures of bones and nice swimming-holes) when I came across "The Animal Rescue Site". It is closely affiliated with the famous and popular "The Hunger Site" and allows you to donate a cup of food, every day, to neglected and abandoned animals (in shelters) at no cost to you. So please cruise on over to "The Animal Rescue Site" and donate some food! Don't forget to bookmark the site and return daily - you could end up giving 365 hungry animals a meal in a year! Rory was most insistent that I mention this to you, because after all he was a neglected dog too before he came to live with me and be my buddy.
I snuck in to see "Men in Black 2" today, to check out Woolie's pugly competition. I must say 'Frank the Pug' is very much a cool dog with attitude, and I think all pug lovers would enjoy the movie for this reason. For everybody else it's a bit of silly fun, I had a bit of a laugh and a good time.
Sadly (for me, because I enjoyed laughing at him) Rory no longer has a bucket on his head. Actually the bucket did not last long at all because Rory quickly wangled it off - but to little avail. It was promptly replaced by a large cardboard 'Elizabethan' collar. I enjoyed this immensely and did many victory 'waggle dances' around him....hehe....
Well my dears I must be off, I have some serious Wimbledon watching to do! Go Lleyton!!
My best woofs,
~Bess
2/7/02
Brrrrrrrr! I can't wait for Summer! It may be nice and warm for those lazing around during their Summer breaks or hitting some balls at Wimbledon (Go Lleyton!) but it's freezing here! In fact, it snowed just last week! It's the first time I've ever seen snow, but I didn't find it extremely impressive. Mostly cold, wet and white. Rory felt much the same, so after our brief morning venture out we promptly returned to our warm dents on the couch.
I've seen the new Tom Cruise movie "Minority Report" and I give it three paws up (out of four of course)! It was very bizarre but a bit of fun. Rory fancies himself as a bit of a cop of the future but I think he'd look ridiculous in one of those ultra-swift cars, especially with his half-up half-down ears flapping about!
Hahahaha..hehehhe..he..hehe....sorry I'm just laughing at Rory. He has a bucket on his head! The poor lad's been licking and scratching at his belly and it's so irritated that he has to be kept away from it. Hence the bucket! Black is definitely his colour! Hehehehee...ouch! He just headbutted me with his bucket!
Today I went cruising around with G and saw my first waterfall. It is not far at all from where I live but I never knew it was there. It was really pretty, and sweet little yellow and grey robins were flitting about happily...I must admit I'm a bit of a romantic!
*Shivers* Well I'd better relocate closer to the fire, it's just too chilly over here. Be good! Woof!
~Bess
6/4/02
Happy (belated) Easter! I hope everybody had a nice holiday and remembered not to give their canines chocolate! (Not that it stops me begging for some!)
It's getting chillier down here, as we approach Winter, but that isn't preventing me from swimming in the dam, amongst the fish and waterlilies! Plus we've just had a big trench dug around the house to put in an irrigation pipe, and Rory and I found it lots of fun racing around filling in the trench as we wrestled at it's edge. (However our people weren't too pleased, they had to dig all the dirt out again. Suffice to say we weren't thanked for our assistance.)
We have a new magpie around the place, dubbed "Magnus" (yes it's highly original, I know). I wanted to call him Fergus but was outvoted. Rory wanted to call him lunch. Magnus is "top bird" around here and clucks at any others who try to muscle in on his territory. If another bird approaches his meat he clucks at them, in a tone I suppose he thinks is menacing. I'm not sure if he's trying to confuse them or distract them with laughter, it's not very threatening at all!
Oh and a little recommendation for Australians and others who have just had it released - I don't recommend going to Queen of the Damned. Especially if you are Anne Rice devotees. Rory could write a better screenplay and that's saying something!
Well my dears I hear Rory calling me, he is doing some very self-important patrolling and barking at the fenceline!
Bye!
~Bess
27/01/02
OK so maybe it's a little late, but Happy 2002 everyone! I hope you all had a fabulous Christmas also! Rory and I were lucky enough to receive special doggy stockings from Santa. We got doggy chocolate, chewy sticks and all kinds of fun stuff. We've also had some more interesting visitors to our property of late. We have had a nice large lizard come to visit, a definite throwback from prehistoric times - he looked rather like an angry little dinosaur. He was probably a Blue Tongue lizard, quite common in Australia. Rory was rather too interested in him and had to be confined to his pen, but I was just slightly curious about the little scaly creature. He moved on in his own good time and hasn't been back to visit since. To our surprize, we've been visited by a small bat! He came only two nights ago, flapped about a bit and left again. We were quite shocked by his presence but he may have just been trying to escape the heat of the Australian Summer like the rest of us. Speaking of which, I'm glad I'm not one of the poor suckers out there in the heat playing tennis. G went to see Day 4 of the Australian Open but I wasn't invited. Oh well. I hope you're all staying cool and putting on plenty of sunscreen.
Ciao,
~Bess
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