November 17, 2000
October 18, 2000
July 11, 2000
March 14, 2000
January 24, 2000
i feel like anyone who only reads the updates on my page are going to think that i'm hella boy-crazy. i'm not, but i know it must seem like it since it looks like i'm switching really quickly. the whole story is a little too detailed for the updates, but let's just put it at this - i was talking to Terry, but then i fell under the impression that either he didn't really have that much interest or that his life was too full for any girls. he stopped calling...i know he was busy so i figured that he just didn't have time to talk to me anymore. and it just so happened that when we stopped talking, Giselle and Maria told me that one of Maria's friends, Gabe, wanted to be introduced to me. so i agreed, and Gabe and i started talking, and we clicked, and so now i have a boyfriend, but part of me feels hella shady because of what happened with Terry. i think both of us missed opportunities there. learning experience, i guess, and i'll just chalk it up to that. i wanted to talk to him so i could explain, but if he calls, i don't know what i would say. i'm hoping he still considers me a decent person. i don't want him to think badly of me, but if he does, i wouldn't really blame him. but right now, i'm really happy, and my boyfriend is happy. he's hella different than anyone i've dated before, but he is wonderful and he wrote me this poem today and i am so trippin over it and i can't believe that i've only known him for such a short time cuz it feels like hella longer. i've spent so much time with him the past couple weeks, because it's hard to stay away from him...when we're not together, i miss him hella and seem to think about him in all my spare moments. and Giselle got jealous for a while but i think she's learning that no matter who i'm with, she's not going to lose me. she's at a retreat right now, and i hope things are going well. prayers for my friend.
i finally, finally quit my job at Natural Wonders for good. they threatened to write me up and i said hell no! i need to do my homework tonight so i can't come in. ha...i think they deserved it...at least a little bit. but i like hanging out with Brenna. having her as a friend was the only good thing i got out of working there.
my dad is helping to open up a Filipino sari-sari store in Everett - Dax Express, i think it is. maybe i'll get to work there....Deeeeep Everett. dope...
i felt so behind on all my college applications and all that...i've been telling people not to talk about college because then i would just feel stupid for procrastinating. but i think i got a lot done tonight...i'm pretty sure i'm applying to 5 schools and i have some beginnings done. but after my visit to the east coast last month - i want to go to Yale so badly i can taste it.
i hope my mom doesn't read this...but if i get into Yale, i'm going with Cindy to get a tattoo. and with Christina, to get my tongue pierced. why the hell not? my student interviewer at Yale had a pierced tongue...and so did Jermaine...LoL...
i hadn't realized just how long it's been since i've last updated. things have changed hella and mostly for the better. i've started senior year and been really busy, but in a good way. i was overwhelmed a little at first but i think everything's really falling into place. damn...it's been hella since i used that phrase. it was like...sophomore year or something. aniwaize, i'm going to be working only one day a week, doing isangmahal stuff, homework, college stuff...and hopefully, talking to Terry. since i last wrote, i came to a lot of realizations about my former relationship and made the necessary changes. but this one...is new...and this time...i'm hella sprung. i'll write more when i have time. i just had to change this in case he decided to kick it to my site.
i'm in Manila right now. Makati, to be more precise. and i'll be here until August 4th, at which time i will board a plane to return to my home country, the United States of America, which seems to be enjoying causing a lot of trouble in the world these days. but that's a whole other website.
it sucks, because the day before i get home, my boyfriend's going to be leaving for Viet Nam for a month and so we have to spend two months apart. that's almost as long as we've been together aniwaize so it's kinda stupid. we won't even get to see each other in passing. it's sad.
but that simple fact is enough to enrage my best friends, who seem to positively despise my love. isn't that always how it works, though? your best girl friends and your boyfriend can never seem to get along, even though i sincerely wish they would. there was a time when i thought that they would give each other a second chance, but with all the drama that went on the weekend before i left, i really am running out of hope. no matter what Giselle does, i want her to know that my friendship is unconditional and i'm praying that hers is too. if she reads this (ha...fat chance but i'll pray) then i hope she emails me or tells Jocelyn to email me or whatever...dammit it's so frustrating not being able to talk to her. Selle, i love you...remember that okae and don't condemn me for my actions...you know me...right?
Lynlyn, Nicole, Gerry - i miss you guys already. Coco: i found you some pinoy boaters but i don't know if you want them. Lyn: i think you can find your own, you man-magnet, you.
i went to San Fransisco for the Poetry Slam and it was the best experience ever. we felt it so much that nobody gave a fuck who won...it was all about the poetry and "all that anger finally sighed / into California's night sky"...i love you guys. i learned so much in three days and i saw that our country and yes, the world is going to be changed by our generation. youth from all over just...know and will not be swayed from spreading the message. thank you for the experience of a lifetime...and from here, it can only get better. Paula - call me...okae? i miss you and want to talk to you. Juan - i'm praying for you and your safety. thank you for your devotion.
expect updates more regularly, now that i have time to do them.
today is pi day. like the number. appoximately 3.14. not that it really matters.
so i haven't been writing here lately. that doesn't matter much either. i don't think that anyone reads this page often enough to worry if i've dropped off the face of the earth, but if there is anybody - i haven't. hey now, isn't that a good thing. i miss my friend in Hawaii. is that legal? well, his friends now know that i am. that i exist. but i don't think that any random person reading this would get that, and i'm not really expecting anyone to. i'm just writing and writing - you know, stream-of-consciousness kind of thing - and saying exactly what's on my mind at the moment. i'm sick of this school year already, and i want it to be over. i'd even be willing to skip Spring Break just to get to summer. but aniwaize, i've been writing more pieces recently, which has turned out to be a good thing. it's like a once or twice-a-month outlet of the emotions that build up, and it seems to be an at least somewhat successful system. i won a spot on the team that is going to San Fransisco to represent Seattle in the National Youth Poetry Slam. i want to take Jocelyn so she can go see her boyfriend. and truthfully, i don't want to go by myself but i won't say anything that might incriminate myself as to why. ahite? ooh, i haven't written that in a while.
too much homework to do. i have freakin' term paper due at the end of the month and i haven't done jack on it. oh well, it's not really like anyone has done much either. i'm not worried, except for the fact that i'm typing this in the library when i have the opportunity to be researching. but i'm going to the UW library with Cindy tonight. they wanted me to work today but that would have been 3 5 to 10 shifts in a row plus a 2:30 to 7:30 on the Sunday prior. i need to quit my job. i'm going to have to aniwaize because the Slam practices are going to be a 5 week committment every Monday and Tuesday night until the end of April. i'm still not quite sure if i want to practice with those people. i want Jocelyn to come with me...aaa. at least i won't have to worry about being late anymore.
i got that CD burner from my mom for Christmas, right? and guess what...? it's March now, and it's still not working.
ummm...is this enough of an update? probably not. there's a guy...a couple of guys, actually. i could say...4. um. alright, that's enough information. i'm out.
my grandmother passed away on January 9th. it was January 10th in Manila, where she lived. we went home, then, on the Wednesday after, and stayed for a week. it was nice to be with the family - 10 of the 12 children returned for the services. isn't that how it always is, though...weddings and funerals. it's been really hard.
i miss you, Oma.
"...opened my eyes / and i have come to realize / just how much you have changed my life /
December 22, 1999
it's almost Christmas. i'm out for vacation, even though it doesn't seem like it since i've been working eight-hour shifts every day this week. is that legal? oh well, at least i don't have homework to go along with it and i'm making money just by counting money all day. yeah, i'm a cashier and proud of it. i feel like i should be writing. i'm waiting for all my words to like build up inside of me so i can let them all out at the same time...or something like that. i want to write, but i'm kind of too tired. i haven't been to the gym in like 3 weeks. i'll go again, as soon as things calm down from the Christmas rush. i promise.
December 1, 1999
what people kept telling me all through my first two years of high school has turned out to be at least somewhat, if not completely, correct. junior year is a bitch. that's probably why i haven't updated this page in such a long-ass time. there is SO much schoolwork to be done, not to mention the job i got at Natural Wonders, my position as computer lab assistant, drama that took up my afterschool hours every day for almost 2 months, BLD, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. i suppose i could mention isangmahal in that list but i won't for 2 reasons: 1. i kind of (sort of) UNINTENTIONALLY dropped it down, down, down on my priority list because my head was too full to think about anything else. i didn't have any time to write, much less correspond on email or keep in touch with the rest of onelove. and 2. i don't ever really think of isangmahal as a chore that i have to get done. it's part of my refuge, and i love it. it's my passion, so it's not work, and whatever i can do to help out, i am happy to do it. my involvement in it changed my life, and so it is only fair that i attempt to reciprocate. BLD isn't really a chore either, but i often feel required to attend all the different meetings/reunions/etc that it entails, especially since i am a coordinator, even though i know nobody is going to reprimand me if i can't make it. i just feel like i'm letting people down. anyway, i've been working and doing homework and going to the gym. i've lost 15 pounds since september, so you should be proud of me. at this rate, i'm going to be muy delgada when i make it to Honolulu for Spring Break. hopefully, it's not really going to cost the $590 estimate that i got from the Net on Monday. i want Christina to be able to come with me.
i got a new cell phone. it's exciting. i'll take a picture of it and put it on here. ha.
much love to those who came out to support isangmahal's Live CD Recording show. salamat sa lahat.
they're rioting in the streets of Seattle. Thanks, Dad, for not letting me go to the protests. I should probably listen to you more often.
to quote some people...
"Fuck the WTO
Fuck the WTO
Fuck the WTO"
"peace."
my computer still kinda sucks.
September 9, 1999
i started junior year about two weeks ago. it hasn't been bad at all, and plus i get to carpool with two people that i really like (Beb-er-lee and DJ Kwiksyn...ha) so that's a good thing. i haven't done much to the page except add new pictures (since i got my scanner...YEAH DOGG) and periodically check for broken links, so...if you can think of anything new that i should do (within reason! and i don't like frames much) then email me. it's disappointing that no one ever sends me good feedback about my page, so go ahead...take the challenge! be the first one to write to me specifically about my page and by doing so, be the first one to meet my expectations!! sound good? okae *slaps her butt like Mellen does* whatever! Christina wants to go to Hawaii for Spring Break...hell, i want to go to to Hawaii for Spring Break. Anybody may blame me who likes, but yes, i'm already thinking ahead to April...and i joined a gym for (possibly...probably...but not limited to) precisely that reason (20 in four months..i can do it! i can do it...all night long! - The Waterboy). i don't know...i just hope we get to go. i really really want to go, for more reasons than one! *sigH* i am waiting for somebody to come back online but i don't know if he is coming back so i am debating whether or not i should tie up my phone line and hang around. oh well, i will probably talk to him later and that will be good. i need one of those cool cable connections, like the one at my dad's house. it would be really nice to be able to download something at 128K/second.
my computer is starting to suck.
August 05, 1999
Deleted HELLA of my poems off the poetry page...i had been thinking for a while that quite a few of my poems on here were either really old and grossly obsolete or really badly written and i didn't like them at all. i had been meaning to delete them since i came to that conclusion, but at first i didn't have the courage (deleting your own work is a really hard thing to do!)...and when i got the guts to do it, ever the procrastinator, i put it off until now. so now they're gone and even though the table of poems is a LOT shorter, i feel a hell of a lot better. frankly, it was embarrassing to keep them on here. which is why they are not anymore. umm...duh.
July 27, 1999
Scanned and uploaded about 10 new images; created a page of pics of just Selle&Me cuz there were so many and i figured they deserved their own page. There's some new ones of Jason, Josh and Jaydee. find them if you can! :) peace out
July 20, 1999
i've decided to stop making this a page of personal updates and use it mostly for webpage-related update purposes, because i can't be as honest and open in this forum as i'd like to be and as i know i can be somewhere else. my entries would get way too personal, and i don't want everyone reading them. it's like a diary, you know? so i'm moving my online journal to a more private web spot, a nice simple little place to which no one but myself has the address. the purpose of putting a journal online if no one else can read it, you ask? well...for the sake of security purposes...and the regular easing of my own conscience. i'll still write sometimes on here...but don't expect to see stuff too often.
"Take care then...Byebye now." - Jim Carrey
July 17, 1999
July 7, 1999
June 16, 1999
June 7, 1999
June 3, 1999
May 26, 1999
May 18, 1999
nothing really important has been going on. actually, i've just been tryin to kick it and not get too bored. right now i'm babysitting my 6 and 7 year old nieces...they are hella cute! we had macaroni and cheese for dinner. i've been doing my summer reading like a good student...Jane Eyre...though i don't really know how to pronounce the last name. it's kind of a sad story, at least in the beginning. i saw the Southpark movie and now i want to buy the soundtrack...if you've seen the movie, then you probably know what i mean...and i convinced Giselle to see American Pie with me even though she had seen it once on each of the previous two days...it was so funny and can you guess my favorite scene?
Michelle: "Say my name!"
Jimmy (shocked): "What?!?!"
Michelle: "Say my name, bitch!!!"
LMAO...well damn...i mean...(quoting Jaydee in his sleep) "it's a gee golly damn shame..." haha...but this is a hella boring entry. sorry if nothing cool enough to keep your attention is going on in my life...oh wait...except i forgot to mention...i'm going to Edmonton, Canada for a week in August to visit some relatives and Raymond Mackenzie Poon. draw your own conclusions about that:)
yes, i know there haven't been updates for a while but i have good reason, so don't get on my case. actually, i got my driver's license on June 21, so while my mom was on vacation i got to use her car and so i ran around with my friends. something i just noticed is when i was out, i usually forgot to eat regular meals cuz i didn't get hungry, so i lost about 5 lbs, which was a very good thing. but my mom's back now, and even though it's nice to have her back, i am so bored during the days! i have nothing to do so i eat. and that can't be healthy. i'm working on it, though, so...aniwaize, like i said, i'm so bored. i alwaize start summer thinking that i'll have so much fun with nothing to do except relax - that happened to me in Manila, too. i thought i was just gonna chill the whole time but i forgot that people like me alwaize need to be kept busy. remind me of that the next time i don't have anything planned for long periods of vacation time. i was rereading my last entry and i remember feeling good about just being able to relax all summer but i look at myself now and how i spent today (i sat at home with the munchies, talking on the phone and watching Daria), not having accoplished anything, and i'm like, "What could i have been thinking?" i would go hang out with my friends but the summer crew of me, jaydee, selle, and jason that was formed during the two weeks my mom has gone has seemed to have dissolved already...and to think i thought it was going to last all summer! oh well, things change when certain freedoms are lost, i suppose. it was hella nice kickin it with them but the situation also brought about lots of emotional things in my life...i'm not going to get into details here but you probably have a good imagination, so you can use it. that's about it...peace out y'all.
s c h o o l ' s o u t f o r s u m m e r i'm finished with the first half of my high school career which really just flew by, except for these past few days. why is it that my school had to be the only private Catholic school in the whole district that did not get out for summer vacation last week? they were probably just trying to make us suffer. but i'm thankful that it's over with and that i have about 2 and a half months in which to sleep, eat, chill, DRIVE, write, and just do whatever. it'll be bomb. thanks to my mahal (aishiteiru), i recently discovered that i gots a previously unknown passion for Hawaiian music and now i've decided that i'm gonna live in Honolulu, at least for a while, so i can learn to talk story like they do. my wonderful plans for the future. my dad is trying to discourage that idea - he keeps saying that i'll get bored and i'll get "island fever" but you know, i'm really very good at keeping myself entertained. oh, and we had an isangmahal show last night. it was cool. the next one is in July, at 409 7th Ave. South in Chinatown, so if you want more details, ask. you should come; it'll be fun.
that's all.
the mural is actually coming along very well. we're using tempera paints for everything except the faces, which are in charcoal, and we've gotten the background to look a lot like stained glass - not bad for amateurs like ourselves. i wrote a new piece, left it alone for a couple days, then came back and added two more pages to it, so i'm boutz to go get it and type it up for the page. it's pretty angry and has some words that would require a Parental Guidance warning label, but i like it. not much is going on except finals start on friday and we get out of school next tuesday. i haven't studied much yet, but my first two finals aren't going to be that hard. i'm gonna cram all weekend, though, so i can do well on monday and tuesday. wish me luck...
they're making me draw eleven people for a mural in history class. i'm kind of sick of it, to tell you the truth. and i have to stay at my school until 9:00 tonight for some choir thing...*sigh* what i really want to do is go home and sleep. but i'm exited cuz isangmahal is gonna go to some highschool in Bellevue and talk to them about spoken word and performing and all that and they just watched SLAM so they're hella hyped...and i'm hella hyper. thanks for the ride Anisia!
geez, this is crazy. i can't believe it's June already and my final exams start next Friday and i'm out for the summer in less than two weeks. that fact just leaves me with my mouth hanging open in complete awe. it seems like just yesterday i started my sophomore year and now it's almost over...like i said, this is crazy. in about 9 days, half of my highschool career will be done with...and truthfully, i'm sad to see it go. though i will be able to drive this summer, and if you think about it hard enough, that almost more than makes up for any bad things going on. :)
a movie that i just watched again recently is Beautiful Girls, with Queen Amidala herself before she was Queen: Natalie Portman. she plays this 13yearold girl who has a crush on a guy who is too old for her...and she has this line that just hits me so hard. she says to him "You...me and you...if your feelings for me are true, you'll wait. Wait five years. I'll be eighteen...We can walk through this world together." i don't know...it just gives me so much faith in love...you know. and the guy is talking to his friend and he confesses "I just want something beautiful..."
and i think that's all from this front. um...bye now.
things are going a little bit better. there's still a lot of stress in my life, but this time it's easier than just a little while ago. if you can say that about stress. i'm just worrying about end-of-the-year school assignments and things. and i haven't even begun to think about finals, though i probably should, shouldn't i...? actually, i've been working more on pieces for the upcoming isangmahal shows - there's one on Thursday for the Asian Pacific American Labor Alliance, and there will be one on Friday for UW FASA Filipino Night. oh well, i think we have our shit pretty much together and we'll do fine. Anisia and i are going to go this one HELLA dope piece and i'm really excited about it.
but i've also been feeling a bit lonely lately. i'm not really sure why, but i've started to miss once again the security of knowing that someone loves me...you know, loves me like that and that our relationship is committed. i guess that it's something i can deal with for now, even though it's still kind of sitting in the back of my mind, bugging me. *sigh* but what can you do...
i am so stressed out right now. i have an AP Biology test tomorrow that determines whether or not i'm going to get any college credit for this Advanced Placement Biology course that i've been taking all year. the scoring system is from a 1 to a 5, with 5 being the highest and i think i'm going to get like a negative 6 or something. i have to do like 120 multiple choice questions and 4 essays (and these are real essays that need facts, so i can't bullshit them at all...dammit) in 3 hours and i am so scared! i mean, i thought i knew this stuff but when i read the Prep books, i feel so unprepared and i just want to crawl under a rock and die. plus i have two giant projects worth the weight of two tests due on Friday - one in Spanish and one in Histories of the American Peoples, the latter of which i haven't even started yet. and i have to go tutor for an hour tonight and i'm so scared that i might fall asleep before i study enough. but at 8:00 pm tomorrow, (after this BIG-ASS Bio test) i get to go watch Star Wars on its opening day, and i am so excited for that...and because of that, tomorrow is going to be like "happy sad scared scared scared tired happy sad scared help me i'm dead"...y'all feel me? so, in conclusion, i'm gonna quote my friend Dennis by pleading "Send a prayer to the Most for me."
isangmahal
angela
