I have felt loss and pain,
child abuse and shame.
I have been beaten and battered,
and in spite of healing, it mattered.

I've been shamed and ignored,
dedregated often beyond restore.
Made to wonder if I were sane.
How could anyone feel the same?

I gave birth, then buried,
and grieved to fatigue.
I often ask, "why must it be?"

I have been programmed to worthlessness
yet I'm still here?
My very existance is no longer clear.

But the greater fear is yet to be,
that no one can ever see.
A Fear no citizen should ever know,
and one that fortitude can't let go.

I've known the greatest fear of all,
that most, thank God, will never befall,
a fear that when realized
brought me to near suicide.

How can there be a greater fear
than those I've suffered up to here?
Is there still a greater pain
then suffering with no visible gain?

That panic, terror and fear,
that brought me to my knees in tears.
The greatest of them all,
and the most Unconscioncable!!!
Beyond Feelings to Numbness,
was
"Homelessness"
by:
Marge (Hope Thomas)
2/26/01