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This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a British Naval ship and the Irish Navy, off the coast of Kerry, Oct 95. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95: IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a Collision. BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to avoid a collision. 
IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. IRISH: Negative. I say again, You will have to divert your course. BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS BRITIANNIA. THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN  THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET.
WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS,
AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE
YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15
DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN
TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.IRISH: We are a lighthouse. Your call. I wish for a better game of golf!One fine day in Ireland, a gentleman was out golfing and teed up his ball on the 16th hole. He smashed the golf ball with his driver. Unfortunately, his drive went into the woods. He walked down the fairway and went looking for his ball. After searching for a while, he found a little man unconscious with the golf ball lying next to him. "Goodness," said the golfer, and proceeded to revive the poor little guy.Upon awaking, the little guy said, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes."  The man said, "I can't take anything from you. I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly." The man then turned and walked away. Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thought to himself, "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want. I'll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life." Well, a year went by and the same golfer went golfing on the same course at the 16th hole. He hit his drive into the very same woods and went off searching for his ball. When he found the ball he saw the same little guy and asked how he was doing. The leprechaun said, "I'm fine, and might I ask how your golf game is?" "It's great! I hit under par every time." "I did that for you. And might I ask how your money is holding out?" The golfer said, "Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in my pocket, I pull out a hundred dollar bill." "I did that for you. And might I ask how your sex life is?" The golfer looked at him a little shyly and said, "Well, maybe once or twice a week." The leprechaun was floored and stammered, "Once or twice a week?" "Well, that's not too bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish." Irish Gifts -The Premier web site for Irish Gifts - Jewelry and other items. |
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