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Guinness
An Irishman, Englishman, and Scotsman go into a pub and
each order a pint of Guiness. MarkersThree Irishmen, Paddy, Sean, and Seamus stumbled home from the pub late one night and found themselves on a road that led past the old graveyard."Come have a look over here," says Paddy. "tis Mike O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul! He lived to the ripe old age of 87!" "Sure, that's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole; it says here that he was 95 when he died!" Just then Seamus yells out, "Good God! here's a fella that got to be 145!" "Whassis name?" asks Paddy. Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin!!" |
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An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is
driving home from the city one night, and of course,
his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop
pulls him over.
Irish Gifts -The Premier web site for Irish Gifts - Jewelry and other items. OopsInto a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp."Paddy, What happened to ye?" asks Sean, the bartender. "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy. "That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand." "That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it." "Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?" "That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight." |
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