I *Still* Know What You Did Last Summer

This is so FONNIE! It's kinda insulting to the Backstreet Boys . . . but whatever!

***BSB finally get a day off and decide to spend it at home. All shit from the last time they were home was forgotten I don't know how but it was. So inside Kevin's apartment...****

Brian: Kevin *looking through the fridge* Is there anything in here that ISN'T fat free?
Kevin: No, I have to keep fit. Unlike you fat lazy losers.
AJ: Uh..I'm not fat. Maybe phat, but not fat.
Kevin: Yeah but Nick is.
Nick: F**k you, I'm not fat. You're EYEBROWS are fat.
Howie: *wink drool* Stop fighting guys, *wink* we're supposed to be friends!
Brian: Shut the f**k up Howie, you've got love handles.
Howie: I do not! *wink*

***The phone rings and interrupts their argument***

Nick: *picks it up* Hello?
Voice: This is XL 106.5! What are you gentlemen doing on a lovely summer's day?
Nick: We're arguing.
Voice: That's cool! How would you like a trip for four to the Bahamas for the weekend?
Nick: Woah! Sure!
Voice: All you have to do is name the capital city of Brazil!
Nick: What's Brazil?
Voice: ....
Brian: It's a country you dipshit.

***Everyone starts thinking***

Brian: WAIT! I saw it on one of Kevin's shit diet foods!

*Runs over to the kitchen*

Kevin: ...It isn't shit...it's actually very nut-
Brian: just shut up! Okay. . Try...Rio?
Nick: Um...Rio?
Voice: Did you just say Rio.
Nick: Yeah...
Voice: .....
Nick: ...? No?
Voice: ........
Nick: Yeah?
Voice: Well that is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!!!!!
Nick: *starts screaming and jumps up and down*
Brian:..... *Grabs the phone* He's a bit emotional.
Voice: You have just won an all expense paid trip to the Bahamas for 4 days and nights for four!
Brian: SWEET!
Voice: What's your favourite Radio Station?
All: XL 106.5!!!!!!

***They then hang up the phone and discuss..***

Kevin: It said for four, there's five of us.
Brian: One will have to sleep in the luggage compartment.
Nick: Well I won't, I'm the most popular.
AJ: I can't, I'm the freak of the group.
Brian: I can't cause I'm the best singer!
Kevin: I WON'T because I'll kick all your asses.

***They all shudder for a second***

Brian: Well that only leaves...

*They all look at Howie*

Howie: *wink* oh no. *wink, drool*

***At the airport***

Howie: *wink, drool* I don't want to go in the luggage department!
AJ: Well that's too bad, you HAVE to.
Howie: Why?
AJ: Because you're the gay ugly one...s**t like this happens to you for a reason, alright?
Howie: *wink, drool* Oh yeah.

***BSB Board the plane leaving Howie to hide in the luggage department when Howie spots a stand that sells gay porno mags***

Howie: oooh! *Runs over*

***Meanwhile***

Kevin: *is sitting next to AJ* Now I'm going to try to go to sleep. You talk to me and I will f**king kill
you..got it? AJ: Yessir.

***The plane starts up****

AJ: *Looks out the window and his eyes go wide* Uh..Kevin..

Kevin: Shut up, AJ. *has his eyes closed*
AJ: No but Kevin-
Kevin: I SAID SHUT UP!
AJ: BUT KEVIN!!!!!!
Kevin: *Opens his eyes* WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
AJ: HOWIE IS OVER AT THE GAY PORNO STAND!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kevin: WHAT?!?! *looks out the window* GOD DAMNIT THAT BASTARD.
AJ: Brian, Nick, look out the window
Nick: *looks* haha, look at that sorry dipshit that looks like Howie over at the gay porno stand, man I feel sorry for him.
Brian: *Laughs* Yeah, I never thought someone other than Howie could look like that!

***They both look at each other***

Brian & Nick: HOWIE!!!!!!!!!!!

***Meanwhile at the Gay porno stand***

Howie: *is checking out naked pics of Tom Cruise when he suddenly notices that the plane is taking off* *wink, drool* OH NO!
Howie: *Runs after it* Hey *wink* Wait!! *drool*
Howie: *watches as the plane takes off* Aw darnit. *wink, drool*

***Well it takes about 6 hours to get to the Bahamas. When the plane stops, they get out.***

AJ: Ahh!!! Bahamas Here I come!

***AJ trips over a small animal and falls on his face***

Nick: HAHA
AJ: Bahamas, there I go.
Kevin: Come on guys lets check into our hotel.
Brian: That sounds cool!

***They get to the hotel to see it is totally empty***

AJ: *Starts ringing the bell* HELLO??! ANYONE HERE?!

***A man with a pale face walks out***

Man: Can I help you?
Nick: Yeah, uh we won the contest.
Man: Ah! Right this way!

*leads them down the hall into their rooms*

***They settle in***

Kevin: Ahh..peace at last!

***AJ starts jumping on the bed***

Kevin: ....? AJ knock it off you're going to break the bed.
AJ: *is jumping and doesn't hear him*
Kevin: AJ!!! Knock it off!!
AJ: Huh?
Kevin: *stands on the bed* I SAID KNOCK IT OFF!!!!!!!

***The bed squeaks and then it breaks crashing to the ground***

AJ: Way to go Kevin, now you broke the bed.
Kevin: .......

***In Brian and Nick's room***

Nick: I can't wait to hit the beach

Brian: I can't wait to hit the nude bars!
Nick: ....
Brian: *starts unpacking when he hears a thud in the closet*
Brian: *Goes and opens it and out falls a dead body*
Both: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Runs out and pounds on AJ and Kevin's room*

Kevin: *Opens it and gets knocked over by the two bursting in* OW!! What the hell?!!!?

Nick: THERE'S A DEAD BODY IN OUR ROOM!!!!!!!
AJ: ....?
Brian: It's true man!! Go see for yourself!!

***The four go into the room, check the closet.. but see no dead body***

AJ: Alright you two..I'm confiscating the weed.
Brian: We don't take weed, dipshit.
AJ: Fine then I'm confiscating whatever is making you delusional.
Nick: But we SAW a dead body.
Kevin: Yeah and I saw nothing. Until we do we will think you are psychotic f**ks. Now leave us alone.
Nick: DAMMIT!!!!

***It's the middle of the night, and the BSB are asleep, when nature calls for AJ***

AJ: *Gets up and steps into a pile of what feels like hair* What the f**k?

***AJ turns on the lights, and Jheri curls are EVERYWHERE... there is a bag in the corner as well***

AJ: WOAH!!!!!! *shoves Kevin off the bed waking him up*
Kevin: WHAT THE HELL?!
AJ: LOOK!!!! *points*
Kevin: *Looks* DAMMIT AJ how many times have I told you to shave your chesthair in the BATHROOM?
AJ: It isn't my chesthair you idiot. It's Howie's old Curls!
Kevin: Why would there be Howie's curls on the floor, you aren't Howie.
AJ: Yeah but stupid f**ks always seem to mess us up, and it looks like that f**ker that we thought was dead kept the curls.
Kevin: What f**ker?
AJ: The one we ran over.
Kevin: Oh him.
AJ: I wonder how he got here...

***Meanwhile Howie is skipping along a dirt path in the forest when an old man and a donkey ride by***

Howie: Hey can I hitch a ride?
Man: well sure there sonny *cough* You know, I should tell you the story of when I was a youngster.. I used to play in these woods..
Howie: ...oh good lord why? *wink, drool*

***The wagon goes off sonly down the path with the old man telling stories of his childhood and Howie considering suicide.***

***Meanwhile, It's morning and a huge storm has taken over the Bahamas, leaving the hotel out of power. BSB are all sitting in the recreation room***

AJ: This vacation blows. Let's go home.
Brian: Well we WOULD but there is a STORM as you can see.
AJ: Well f**k you.
Brian: .....
Kevin: Look, let's go speak with the hotel manager, I'm sure he can send a boat to come and pick us up.
Nick: Yeah that sounds cool.

***They all walk into the manager's office and see him sitting down on his desk---with an AXE in his head. The words "I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID" are on the walls written in his blood***

AJ: ........
Kevin: ...........
Brian: ................
Nick: ......This sucks.....

***They all run into their rooms and lock the doors***

AJ: That guy is back.
Nick: What guy?
Kevin: the one we ran over last year.
Nick: Oh him.
Brian: what are we gonna do?
AJ: Outrun him for now.

***All of a sudden an axe goes through the window and they all scream***

***Meanwhile, Howie now is on a dock throwing breadcrumbs to ducks when he sees a boat passing through***

Howie: Hey!! *wink* Hey stop! *drool* *waves his hands*

***The boat stops and a muscular guy in pink spandex comes out***

Guy: Well hello there handsome! Where you off to?
Howie: I'm lost and need to get to the Bahamas.
Guy: Well have no fear honey buns! Our boat will take you there!
Howie: Woah! This is my kind of boat! *wink, drool*

***Meanwhile, BSB are running through a dark hallway with the killer hot on their trails***

AJ: THIS VACATION BLOWS
Kevin: Shut up and run!!!!
***They all run upstairs and run through the headboards***
Nick: WOAH! *Trips and falls through the floor, landing on the killer who happened to be right under him* ............
Killer: OOF! *Falls*
Nick: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *runs out of the room screaming*
Killer: *gets up and chases him*
AJ: Damnit!! We gotta get Nick!
Brian: Why?
AJ: Because without him BSB are ruined!
Brian: oh, oh yeah. NICK COME BACK!! *runs after him*

***They all run to the dock****

Killer: Ah, finally I got you! You beat me once, but you can't use your stupidity on me anymore!

***All of a sudden the loveboat theme song starts playing and a pink boat appears out of no where***
***When coming into clear view, Howie is standing on the deck dancing with some guys in pink spandex and flowers in their hair***

Brian: ...... We don't know him.
Killer: ......?

***The boat stops and then Howie steps off***

Howie: *wink, drool* that's the guy that chopped my curls off boys! *drool*
Gay #1: We'll get him!
Killer: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***All the gay guys in pink spandex bum rush the killer to death***

AJ: This is embarrassing.
Brian: Howie god damnit, MUST you always find a way to reunite with us?
Howie: *wink drool* yeah, *wink*
Brian: .....
Kevin: Well all I know is that this vacation sucked. Let's go home.

***And they did just that. They then settled in and ate chips and watched pornos for the rest of their vacation. Taking a normal vacation was enough for them---and they lived happily ever after..until Howie ruined it by SCREAMING IN THEIR DAMN SONGS. But that's another story ;)***

By the way. . The Capital of Brazil isn't Rio it happens to be Brasilia. But I'm not the author and refuse to change the way it was sent in to me. Sorry!! Don't forget to sign my GuestBook and Join my Mailing List!