As any X-Phile knows, there are tons and tons of great lines from our favorite show. Many are deeply poignant, others are comedic, and some would just make great computer sound bytes. I've tried to include all the great lines that the show has produced over the years, and if you can think of any that are missing, feel free to contact me and let me know. I'll see what I can do about locating them. I have categorized my collection by season for easier navigating. Many wavs are the result of my own work, others have been filched from other people's great websites, like Pete Nelson's TV Wavs (which has been shutdown). So enjoy as you relive all the best moments from Season Five!
Keep Going 18K
Mulder: Keep going, FBI woman...
Scully: All lies lead to the truth, isn't that right?
The Biggest of Lies 627K
Scully: As I am a medical doctor with a background in hard science, my job was to provide an analytical perspective on the work of Special Agent Fox Mulder, whose investigations into the paranormal were fueled by a personal belief that his sister had been abducted by aliens when he was twelve. I come here today, four years later, to report on the illegitimacy of Agent Mulder's work. That it is my scientific opinion that he became over the course of these years, a victim. A victim of his own false hopes, and of his belief in the biggest of lies.
Mulder: I've held a torch in the darkness to glance upon a truth unknown. An act of faith begun with an ineloquent certainty that my journey promised the chance, not just of understanding, but of recovery. That the disappearance of my sister, 23 years ago, would come to be explained. And that the pursuit of these greater truths about the existence of extraterrestrial life might even reunite us. A belief which I now know to be false...and uninformed...in the extreme. My folly revealed by facts which illuminate both my arrogance and self-deception. If only the tragedy had been mine alone, might it be more easy tonight to bring this journey to its end.
Mulder: Let the truth be known though the heavens fall.
Sorry S.O.B. 22K
Mulder: Sorry son of a bitch speaking...
Put You Down 53K
Mulder: If Scully dies, I will kill you. I don't care whose father you are--I will put you down.
They're Here 75K
Mulder: They're here! They're here! They're here!
Far-Reaching Conspiracies 114K
Frohike: You're telling me that the U.S. government, the same government that gave us Amtrak...
Langly: Not to mention the Susan B. Anthony dollar.
Frohike: ...is behind some of the darkest, most far-reaching conspiracies on the planet?
Frohike: Why don't you just kick this guy's ass?
Frohike: Hello, pretty lady...
Shut Up, Punk 10K
Frohike: Shut up, punk.
My Kung Fu 15K
Frohike: My kung fu is the best.
Your Kung Fu 17K
Frohike: Your kung fu is the best.
Frohike: Welcome to the dark side.
We're Screwed 19K
Langly: We're screwed.
Shut Up, Ya Narc 14K
Langly: Shut up, ya narc!
Use Some Help 22K
Byers: You just look like you could use some help.
End of the Line 22K
Byers: I'm sorry, I think this is the end of the line.
I'm Not Alone 23K
Scully: Mulder, I'm not alone.
Joy To the World 162K
Scully sings "Joy To the World."
Rains Sleeping Bags 106K
Mulder: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who's already naked.
Scully: Maybe if it rains sleeping bags you'll get lucky.
Kill Me Now 11K
Mulder: Kill me now.
Mulder: I know these things.
Par-tay 13K
Mulder: Par-tay!
Tailhook Crap 39K
Mulder: Try any of that Tailhook crap on me, Scully, I'll kick your ass.
Mulder: No. Yes, actually yeah.
Mulder: I don't want to wrestle.
Negative Words 203K
Scully: Mulder? We’ve got this conference. They're waiting.
Mulder: Yeah. How do I say this without using any negative words, Scully?
Scully: You want me to tell them that you're not going to make it to this year's teamwork seminar.
Mulder: You see that? We don't need that conference. We have communication like that, unspoken. You know what I'm thinking.
900 Number 34K
Mulder: Scully, do you think it's too soon to get my own 1-900 number?
Alone As Ever 718K
Scully: It begins where it ends...in nothingness. A nightmare born from deepest fears, coming to
me unguarded. Whispering images unlocked from time and distance. A soul unbound - touched by others but never held. On a course
charted by some unseen hand. The journey ahead promising no
more than my past reflecting back upon me. Until at last, I reach
the end. Facing a truth I can no longer deny. Alone, as ever.
Not To Be 395K
Mulder: Why didn't you call me sooner?
Scully: Because I couldn't believe it. But I need you now to be a
witness on my behalf in this hearing.
Mulder: And I should have declined...if I never want to see you
hurt or harmed in any way.
Scully: Then why are you here?
Mulder: Because I know something that I haven't said...something
that they'll use against you to jeopardize your custody of Emily.
No matter how much you love this little girl, she's a miracle that
was never meant to be, Scully.
Chance To Love Her 208K
Scully: Who are the men who would create a life whose only hope was to die?
Mulder: I don't know. But that you found her...and you had a chance to love her...then, maybe she was meant for that, too.
I'm Her Mother 82K
Doctor: Now, are you two the parents?
Scully: I'm her mother.
Make Her Stop 363K
--thanks to Val N. (if you would like to take this .wav to be placed on your own site, please contact Val N. and ask first!)
Mulder: Scully, what are you doing here?
Scully: You were right about her, Mulder.
Mulder: Scully.
Scully: She's making me do this.
Mulder: Where is she?
Scully: She's here. Mulder, make her stop. I can't help myself.
Mulder: Linda Bowman!
Scully: Mulder, make her stop.
Mulder: Show yourself!
Scully: Mulder!
Mulder: No! No!
Don't Play Her Game 485K --thanks to Val N. (if you would like to take this .wav to be placed on your own site, please contact Val N. and ask first!)
Mulder: I'm gonna kill you!
Linda Bowman: Don't listen to her, Mulder.
Mulder: What?
Linda Bowman: It's me. You were right about her. Linda Bowman is pushing you.
Mulder: What the hell are you talking about?
Linda Bowman: I'm Scully. Linda's right behind you, she's telling you I'm her.
Mulder: You killed her!
Linda Bowman: Mulder, I'm Scully. I'm not dead. She wants you to shoot me. She knows you'll never forgive yourself.
Mulder: Shut up!
Linda Bowman: Listen to me!
Mulder: Shut up!
Linda Bowman: Your mother is Teena, your sister is Samantha!
Mulder: Shut up!
Linda Bowman: Modell warned you. Don't play her game.
Boyish Agility 54K
Mulder: Hey, Scully, is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all?
Marry Me 38K
Mulder: Scully...
Scully: Yes?
Mulder: Marry me.
Mulder: Hey, morning, sunshine.
She Is So Hot 18K
Frohike: She is so hot.
Load of Crap 24K
Scully: You believe this load of crap?
Cream Cheese 67K
Scully: You know, I haven't eaten since six o'clock this morning and all that was was half a cream cheese bagel and it wasn't even real cream cheese, it was light cream cheese.
All For You 17K
Scully: I do it all for you, Mulder!
Hoo Boy 9K
Scully: Hoo, boy...
Scully: Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Scully: Don't you touch that bed.
Magic Fingers 23K
Scully: I just put money in the Magic Fingers!
Scully: If there's a point, Mulder, please feel free to come to it.
Theme from "Shaft" 130K
Mulder: Who's the black private dick who's a sex machine with all the chicks? Shaft! Can you dig it? They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother--shut your mouth! Talkin' 'bout Shaft.
Large Marge 61K
Mulder: Prison, Scully. Your cellmate's nickname is gonna be Large Marge. She's gonna read a lot of Gertrude Stein.
Mulder: Do you have an old cemetery in town, off the beaten path, the creepier the better?
Little Legs 26K
Mulder: Come on, Scully, get those little legs moving. Come on.
I Did Not! 18K
Mulder: I did not!
I Was Drugged! 11K
Mulder: I was drugged!
Mulder: Don't even start with me.
Scully's Yeeha 12K
Scully: Yeeha.
Mulder's Yeeha 10K
Mulder: Yeeha!
The Human Condition 691K
Mulder: Before the exploration of space, of the moon and the planets, man hailed that the heavens were the home and province of powerful gods who controlled not just the vast firmament, but the earthly fate of man himself and that the pantheon of powerful, warring deities, was the cause and reason for the human condition, for the past and the future, and for which great monuments would be created on earth as in heaven. But in time man replaced these gods with new gods and new religions that provided no more certain or greater answers than those worshipped by his Greek or Roman or Egyptian ancestors. And while we've chosen now our monolithic and benevolent gods and found our certainties in science, believers all, we wait for a sign, a revelation. Our eyes turn skyward ready to accept the truly incredible to find our destiny written in the stars. But how do we best look to see? With new eyes or old?
Anal-Probing 82K
Mulder: One more anal-probing, gyro pyro, levitating ecoplasm, alien anti-matter story and I'm gonna take out my gun and shoot somebody.
Authority 20K
Krycek: Your authority isn't recognized here.
Bat Phone 29K
Krycek: Well, look who's answering the bat phone.
American Ass 33K
Krycek: You tell them to kiss my American ass.
Do I Look Like I'm Having Fun? 42K
Mulder: Do I look like I'm having fun, Scully?
Scully: You look constipated, actually.
Have A Nice Life 35K
Scully: You seem to have invalidated your own work. Have a nice life.
Done Here 14K
Scully: I guess I'm done here.
A Long Way 17K
Scully: You've come a long way, Mulder.
Krycek: I'm here to help you.
Russian Luck 25K
Krycek (in Russian): Good luck to you, my friend.
Krycek: You must be losing it, Mulder. I can beat you with one hand.
Mulder: Isn't that how you like to beat yourself?
Lucky Stars 20K
Mulder: It's time to thank your lucky stars.
Last Words 22K
Mulder: If those are my last words, I can do better.
Skinner: I'm getting a bad feeling about this.
Feed My Fish 50K
Mulder: If you don't hear from me by midnight, feed my fish.
Deal Me In 12K
Mulder: Okay, deal me in.
Call Me A Cab 30K
Mulder: I don't need a car. You can just call me a cab. That'll be fine.
I Told You So 70K
Mulder: Scully, at the risk of you telling me "I told you so," I think it's time for you to get down here and help me.
Scully: I told you so.
Monster Boy 17K
Mulder: I'm Monster Boy, right?
You Must Have Seen This Coming 60K
Mulder: Five years together, Scully. You must have seen this coming.
One In Five Billion 143K
Mulder: Scully, you have to believe me. Nobody else on this whole damn planet does or ever will. You're my one in...five billion.
What's Up? 6K
Mulder: What's up?
Frohike: Ooh, a walk on the wild side...
Disappear 18K
Scully: I have to disappear for a bit.
I Need Your Help 14K
Scully: I need your help.
Season One Season Two Season Three Season Four Season Five Season Six Season Seven
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