Dahpimpsta.Bagelz.Bigfoot.Me.Myself.I.Bigdeezy.TallBitch.Jew.Balla
Life through the eyes of the tall one they call BigFoot
Look at my tall goofy ass on my WEBCAM.
Past WebJournals: [March 8-11] [March 12-15] [March 16-19] [March 20-23] [March 24-27] [March 28-31]
Past WebJournals: [April 1-4] [April 5-8] [April 9-12] [April 13-16] [April 17-20] [April 21-24] [April 25-30]
Past WebJournals: [May 1-4] [May 5-8] [May 9-12] [May 13-16] [May 17-20] [May 21-24] [May 25-31]
6/04/01
Wise words of Deezy, “Allergies equals lots of snot and kleenex!"
Wise words of Heffer's Mom, “Heffer loves to read your journal every night before she goes to bed while eating a large bowl of hamburger helper....!”
Mission of the Day #52: Go to Taco Bell and order the Ultimate Cheeseburger with extra relish and lots of mayonaisse!”.
Ants are a clever species, for they attack spoiled and left out food, or just anything that was once tasty. It seems that after every party of mine, food gets wedged under tables or what not, and all though I clean everything, they find that one crumb I left behind. It’s crazy to see a damn line of ants entering a domain in which they don’t care who lives, just that there is a mess left behind. All though it takes a good size sixteen foot too step on about a couple million of them, they never go away, making me use that anti-ant spray that has the worst stench, and causing the house to stink like ass. Their size is intimidating, but god damn they sure piss people off for being a centimeter big. For this I feel that ants are a species that cannot be exterminated, and will one day take over the world, as they outnumber us.
The little chubby butt skeeeezzzzaa Nikki got her grill knocked up tonight by a look alike Britney Spears who also spilled beer on my pool table. Some one else should’ve been the one to knock her up, but she is older and bigger and too much of a women, because she thinks she’ll over power the little skeeeezzzzaaa. I laugh at that, but honestly, come on, I smell pussy, who else does?
Medicene Tips for the Day: When you have allergies and have snot pouring out of your big schnosage constantly, make sure you don’t overdose on medication because you think you’re big enough too take it. This mourn I took a 12-hour pill, got home at two and took another pill for all day happiness, then a couple hours later I took a twenty-four hour pill. That’s a good fourty-eight hours of relief in a good ten hour period, not good! Well that was a bad idea as I passed out at my computer for a good hour, and was waken up with sweat pouring off my face, just not good at all. For this I say that my weakness is allergies, and when they hit me, they hit me hard. I honestly feel like I ran into a brick wall, and my nose was smashed, causing internal snot bleeding which doesn’t stop. Screw pollens, grass, weeds, and all that makes one allergetic, because this sucks, my whole day was ruined. I have the snifflies twenty-four seven, arghhh!
6/03/01
Wise words of Deezy, “I'm Tom Green, Groceries, Groceries!"
Wise words of Cool Guy Tran, “I'm a asian and that's all you need to know!”
Mission of the Day #51: Try to nail jello to a tree!”.
Rules, Rules, Rules!!! We all know that rules are meant to be broken, and it happens daily. Yet their isn’t enough enforcement to stop the rules and laws from being broken. I feel that if there wasn’t rules because of the fact that people break them so often, our world would go down the toilet like fresh diarrhea. At the same time, why do people break the rules? Is it to make them feel that they are the bad boy of the culture or possibly just a lack of knowledge for that rule. For instance, you have stop signs, but in some places, people just don’t stop for them, even though it is the law. So I say that, ahh shit I lost my train of thought, so I guess, just fuck the rules, because they don’t make the world go round.
So who else breaks just the head of their golf club??? Honestly...the damn neck of the shaft is suppose to fly off with it, if it flys off at all. But noooooo, the freaking head broke in half, it was the craziest thing even the golf teachers have seen. Which also pissed me off since it was my favorite club, god damn it nipple bitter.
Lucas once again has created another tennis ball launcher, and we launched some major ..ish today. Although it wasn’t as powerful as our other creations, we did manage to get some good shots off, even shooting apple sauce out of it.
So they say that white people are the most racist and what not, but yet I was given a little rhyme by Cool Guy Tran who though he was cool for making this little rap about whites compared to asians, so here it is, although I think it‘s a bit outlandish, and sorry about all the capital and non capital switch off and also their lack to spell things how they should be spelled, that‘s just how the asains write, my sincere apologizes for their stupidity:
dEar wiTe feLla,
daRe r CoUplE oF tHanGs u ShOuld KnoW
wEn iM bOrn, IM yEllOw
WeN I gRow uP, Im YeLloW
wEN i Go iN dA suNligHt, iM yElloW
WenI aM sCarEd, iM yElLow
WEn iM siCk, iM YeLloW
~n WeN i DiE, iMsTiL' yEllOw FoOlZ
LoOk u WitE feLla
wEn Ur oUt oF uR mOMmAs ShiEt, uR pInK
WEn yOoH *bleep* gRoWs uP, uR fuKeN wItE
wEn uR iN dA dAmN sUnLigHt, uR rED
WEn uR coLd aS uRiNe, Ur bLuE
wEn uR sCarEd lYkE a dUmdAsS, uR yELlOw
WEn Ur sIcK aS sHiEt, uR gReEn
~n~ WeN u DiE, u GeT gRaY
sO, dO y'All fUkEn wiTeS hAvE dA mA fUkEn nErvE 2 CaLL mEeH COLORED, bEe~tCH???
I think we all can agree on one thing...HIROSHIMA part 2!!!
6/02/01
Wise words of Deezy, “Megan should‘ve knocked her ass out!"
Wise words of Missy, “Fo shizzle my nizzle!”
Mission of the Day #50: Jump into a pool with the cover on!”.
My last All-Star game was tonight, and it was too be another fun exhibition of my ballin others up. After being told I was too be forced into the dunk contest, I had no choice, because the other players on the team seemed to be pussies who can’t jump. So I went with it and well in front of a huge sold out crowd, I showed my white boy hops. With a 360, two-handed slamma-jamma, and leap over teammate Weaver, I ended up being the Dunk Champion. Hey Hey Hey, white boys can jump, me being the only white guy in the contest. It was all fun, and I got a fifteen dollar Blockbuster gift certificate out of it. Getting off to a slow start in the game itself, I eventually got a little dunk, a three, and many other little shots. We ended up losing, boo-hoo and we went back to party it up.
School year is winding down, and it’s time for those good ole’ projects that make or break your grade. Luckily in our government class, it’s a project for fun and practically free points. We met at the butt crack off dawn this mourn too do our taping segment. The topic is an example of local or state government in progress. Our idea was too work in the governmental position of the dog catcher profession. While most our time was spent goofing around playing Mario Kart and Playstation 2, we eventually taped some footage. This footage included kidnapping my dog with a blanket, taking him around the city, getting donuts, making fun of people on the road, stopping to interview some kids playing basketball...in which I punted their ball across the park and ran, attacking a snake, and other idiotic things. Fun video indeed.
6/01/01
Wise words of Deezy, “Thirty days till I'm legal, strip clubs fo sheezy!"
Wise words of Johnny, “I have no clue, I'm not creative!”
Mission of the Day #49: Kidnap a friend and torture him!”.
We always talk about trees, and how they are of importance for us, giving us oxygen and what not. Since we cut them down to make paper, napkins, and all kinds of products, the enviormentalists complain that we will soon die out because of a lack of trees. We all can conserve the paper we use, because we waste so much of it daily, when it doesn’t have to be wasted. For instance, if you grab a paper plate out of your kitchen, most likely you’ll end up grabbing two or three, because they are all stuck together, and the laziness causes us just not to care to break them up. That’s just one waste right there. We should focus on McDonalds for the most waste of paper. As I was anti-McDonalds for the longest time, as of late the free Big Mac’s are just too good. Yet when I go through the drive-thru, they give me my food with like fifty napkins, of which I use one or none. A big waste indeedy-o. I just want to breathe and have unlimited oxygen. Akachooooooo!
Went out to Burbank Studios for my interview with NBC. After waiting in the studio lobby for some time, I got to enter the nice air conditioned meeting room. This room was just kickass for a chill back room. I got to sit in the tightest leather chair ever, and I just talked with the producer of the show I was being interviewed for. I felt good vibes, and hopefully they will give me a call back and I’ll get to be on NBC hosting a talk show...sweeetttt!!
Not the usual Friday as most, as absolutley nothing was going on in the boring city of Simi Valley. One party was bumpin, and by bumpin I mean white trash peeps acting like white trash. So after travelling across Simi to this festivity, which was a trip of it’s own getting there, because Luke and I were scared for his beastly truck was acting up. The radiator temp was going up, down, up...the cd player went kapoof, and just bad vibes were a happening. We did make it to the nearest Arco where we filled the thirsty beast up, and bought some Rold Gold’s, awesome pretzels. The night ended up with us travelling to Edwards 10, where we planned to kidnap a friend out in a parking lot and torture him. After strategically planning what to do, when to do, and where to do, we tried to do. We planned to jump him when he got near his car by putting a big huge blanket over him, then hog tying him so he couldn’t squirm like the damn self he is, and then take him and drop him off on a barren road. Plans failed as our team thought the movie got out at 11:25, when it actually got out at 11:10. In an attempt to hide, he found out the victum had three people with him. Yet as he entered his vehicle, he found us out, so we sped off thinking we could still pull a prank on him. It ended up the rest of the night we’d drive back and forth through out Simi doing nothing but arguing and laughing. Only highlight of the night was when the huge mofo Cope got in a fight with a supposed Blood, and by Blood I mean the gang. After Cope dropped his ass, the guy told people he called his buddies to come and shoot him. That’s just not good at all, can’t we all just get along?