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Click to add to Favorites Down BelowOne day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth, but with no scuba gear whatsoever. The diver went below another 20 feet, and the guy joined him a moment later. The diver went down even farther and the same guy was right behind him. The confused diver took out out his waterproof chalkboard and wrote, "How the heck are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you freakin moron...!" Peanuts!A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything went quite well. As the National Anthem started.......the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts" and the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem ...he yelled, "Down Nuts" and they all sat back down in their seats.After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts". They all broke out into applause and cheered. 
When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts!!!" and they all started booing and cat calling.  Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog ...leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned, there was a riot in progress. Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked, "What in the world happened?" The assistant replied, "Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled, "PEANUTS!!" Reasonable SolutionI am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the Poison Control Center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the Emergency room right away. |
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