Last Laugh
Sitting behind a couple of nuns at the football game,
three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to
get them to move.
In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think
I'm going to move to Utah, there are only 100 Catholics
living there..."
The second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to
Montana, there are only 50 Catholics living
there..."
The third guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to
Idaho, there are only 25 Catholics living
there..."
One of the nuns turned around, and looked at the men,
and calmly said, "Why don't you go to hell, there
aren't any Catholics there."
There were two nuns...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as
Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
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SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes?
I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most?
What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing.
He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried
about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he
followed me.
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could
and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.
And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Marys!
Incredible Wager
Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of
Our Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an
advanced state of agitation. "Father!" she
cried, "just wait until you hear this!"
The priest led the Sister to a chair, and said, "
Now just calm down and tell me what has you so
excited?"
"Well, father" the nun began, "I was
just walking down the hall to the chapel and I heard
some of the older boys wagering money!"
"A serious infraction, indeed!" said the
priest.
"But that's not what has me so excited,
father" replied the nun, " it was WHAT they
were wagering ON! They had wagered on a contest to see
who could urinate the highest on the wall!!"
"What an incredible wager!" exclaimed the
priest, "What did you do?"
"Well, I hit the ceiling, father."
"How much did you win?"
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