Dahpimpsta.Bagelz.Bigfoot.Me.Myself.I.Bigdeezy.TallBitch.Jew.Balla
Life through the eyes of the tall one they call BigFoot
Look at my tall goofy ass on my WEBCAM.
Past WebJournals: [March 8-11] [March 12-15] [March 16-19] [March 20-23] [March 24-27] [March 28-31]
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Past WebJournals: [June 1-4]
6/08/01
Wise words of Deezy, “All our administrators are chubby sons of bitches!"
Wise words of Conger, “Dad, you shot Zombie Flanders....He was a Zombie!”
Mission of the Day #56: If you see an administrator, kick them in the shins, slap them in the face, then run!”.
Can't believe it, but it has been three great months of writing, and still strong, so thank you once again for supporting a rebel without a cause!!!
Five of us guys participated in what we call the "100 Shot Club." This idea was motivation from the Big Brother video titled Crap. Yes, it's actually titled Crap. The idea was too take 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes. This was too be a Lakers celebration, and as we already did some taebo during the day, the competition would be difficult. We started off slow, and picked up the pace, and after a while it got too a point of no more. I ended myself at 40, while a couple others reached 50, and some stopped way before....proving that it actually is difficult to do that.
Once again, the school administration is a bunch of trick ass beatches. Today was the distribution of annuals, yet it was at 3:30, why so late, I just don’t know. We left to go lift weights before hand and arrived in the annual lines around 3:15. As of course I cut to the very front, we waited in agony as it seemed that they were ready to distribute, but wanted us to suffer and wait till the time they said. As I came from the gym, I had no wallet, and by that I mean no picture ID. Chubby Mrs. Hatton rolls to the front of our line with the papers of everyones names. She checks to make sure people don’t have overdue funds with the school, because if you do you can’t recieve and annual. I was cleared, yet there was one problem, I didn’t have my picture ID. I was like, are you joking? Not to be conceded, but I think just about everyone on staff knows me, and well she said rules are rules. So as I got angry and cussed her fat ass out, I waited for luckily the nicest administrators on campus, the ASB workers. I got my temporary ID, got my annual and pictures and got the hell outta there in anguish. Goes to show you that the administration are being a bunch of assholes to us seniors who have less then a week to go.
6/07/01
Wise words of Deezy, “One more god freaking week!"
Wise words of A. Dick, “Screw you and your little bitch!”
Mission of the Day #55: Pee your pants in front of millions like Will Ferrel!”.
What does it take for one to be macho??? Must you drink so much beer that you pass out, smoke as much marijuana till you choke, fight until your death, or poke your own eyes out? I just don’t get what people try to do to be Mr. “Macho....Macho Man, I’ve gotta be a Macho Man!” I’ve seen some crazy stuff people try to do to be accepted as the tough guy, but why be the tough guy? Where does that get yah, cuz I know it ain’t getting yah a trip to Disneyland or anything like that, so why be that big ole’ Mr. Mean? Listen people....just don’t be any Unabomber or anything like dat, because I’m frightened that in the upcoming future, shit is gunna hit the fan because all these Macho men will combine to strike at one time. Yes, it is called Armageddon, and oh man it is coming...make love, eat, sleep, pee, and do whatever you always wanna do, cuz we all gunna die!!!
As they closed the driving range tonight at Simi Hills, we urged that we still hit some balls. A couple people still remained, yet we proceeded to go onto the range itself and just hit the shanked balls by others. Once we got fifty yards into the range, the croaking of frogs grew louder, meaning these little wart bearing bitches were close. Therefore inventing a new sport, Golfing for Frogs. All you gotta do is look for that huge ribbit ribbit, and swak, nail that son of bitch right in it’s mouth. Simple sport, that’s all yah do, destruction of lily pad freaks, oh yeahhhhh!
6/06/01
Wise words of Deezy, “Rick Fox‘s hair can be blammed for the Lakers loss!"
Wise words of Roxy, “Just saying Hey!”
Mission of the Day #54: Pretend your Superman and jump in front of a train, then yell “Halt” too see if it stops in time!”.
Crash Tests are just so ludicrous because they base the vehicles on the least damage or what not. They do this by catapulting the vehicles a good thirty-five miles an hour into a wall, simulating an actual front impact crash. First of all, I’ve seen these so called crash tests, and I notice that the crash dummy gets fucked up inside. Funny thing about this is, they say the dummy only suffered a broken leg and head trauma, yet say that vehicle has damn good protection. Hmmmm..I’m not the brightest crayon in the box, but I know that any vehicle that collides at thirty miles an hour with another object, is subject to being proper fucked. Sorry for the language but I think these crash tests are a waste of the government’s time. I know it is too gain knowledge on how to build better frames for cars and trucks, but come on, I wouldn’t say that walking away from this kind of crash with a broken leg, arm, and whiplash is exactly what I call a safe vehicle at all. So in all, these crash tests seem just to be amusement for the testers itself, and I feel that the only thing they are hurting is their pockets and the crash dummies inside, they have feelings too!
Did I say that I love Aja with all my heart!!!
While I went to the Senior Award Ceremony, which was the same damn freaking time as the Laker game, all my buddies and others were chillen at my house watching the game. The assembly wasn’t as noteworthy as I thought, so after I got my Athlete of the Year Award, I bugged outta there to join the party. While it was blazzing hot in the house from all twenty people there, the game was a show, and everyone was getting crazy, or at least they were all drunk and that was why. Even though I called the Lakers would lose Game 1, there is still hope, as I feel the Lakers will go on a tear, and Lue will rip Iverson up, as I’m predicting he’ll start Game 2, oh yeah!!!
Some people just have it good in life, and by this I mean their jobs. Shockerz does practically nothing all day except sit in his air conditioned office doing little spreadsheets, filing stuff, and straight up chillin. I see myself later down the line, if basketball doesn’t work out, doing the same thing, yet making a hundred times more money. Today I got too work for him, I guess you can call me Mr. Assistant Bitch, as we moved someone’s office too another office in another building. While Shockerz needs to hit the weights and condition so he doesn’t sweat bullets, I found out that when people moving furniture have a good foot difference in height, it causes one too pull his back. Although it was worth making money, my back got a little torn up, yet again shit happens.
6/05/01
Wise words of Deezy, “It‘s all about the he said she said bullshit!"
Wise words of LuteBomb, “If it ain't white then it ain't right!”
Mission of the Day #53: Eat a crayon, I prefer redish white crayolas!”.
Coming up with some fresh ideas are pretty hard, yet I manage too come up with my little theories one crazy way or another. Todays theory and little common facts were brought about while picking my nose. Yes we all do it, whether in front of other people’s presence is up to the persons morals, but nose picking is common in all of us. Me, being an allergy baby, have the snifflies 24-7, I guess its customary that I sniffle every ten seconds, it’s just that I always do it. During the course of the day, my snifflies feel a little clogged, and well you know what that means, big boogies. So the picking begins to clear the mucous membranes and snifflly passage way. I’ve categorized the boogers into two categories, dry and wet. Pretty simple ehhh?? The wet ones are a bitch, because they get stuck to the ceiling of your nose, and then dry and cause all sorts of problems. Then there are dry ones which you can have fun with, by flicking at friends, or for the nasty person, turn the dry ones into munchy snacks. I prefer to keep the boogers outside my body, so I refrain from eating them. Yet if you aren’t a picker, there are alternatives, as in the good ole’ “Snot Rocket.” Just plug one nostril, and blow your brains out the other, and blammo! All the snot comes pouring out, then repeat for the other side. This can also be done onto another person for your amusement. We all are pickers or snot rocketers one way or another, because well...blowing your nose is just overrated.
Today in bowling, during the last couple frames, I bowled the ball while diving after it, a true comic relief for us people who are barely up at the butt crack of dawn.
Best pizza party ever!! Today in our computer class, some girl won a $1,000 scholarship from Papa Johns, and well...they fed the whole class, and although i know pizza parties and thought it would be like two pizzas for everyone, it was like twenty, and I stuffed down five pieces, yummy yummy!!
Golf season is in for me, as now I can enjoy not working on school related things that take up my time. So my Pops, Pikey, Guido Conger, and I hit the links at good ole’ Simi Hills. After some confusion we got on, and the Pikey started off strong, yet I would gain advantage through the next couple holes. Of course Pops and Guido Conger are hackers and it might not be pretty for them, but they keep up. About Guido Conger, he uses a god damn eight iron of the tee at every hole, talking bout not having confidence with any club, sheeeeeeesh. Conger might as well use his eight as a putter also, but hey...Guidos aren’t really golfers anyways, they just like feeling a long shaft instead of their own short one. The shot of the day would go to me, as on the fifth hole...a 290-yard Par 4, dog leg left, so from the tee you can’t see the flag at all, and the intimidating thing is what we call the black hole, the big duck pond running all along the left side of the hole. I decided to go for it, as I usual do, and welp I hit the shit outta the ball, and it looked like it had a chance. I hit another safely in the fairway just if I didn’t make it which I didn’t think I did. Too my knowledge as we approach, my bright orange ball is in the middle of the green, wowzers!!! 290-yard hole, and I reached the green in one, yet I missed my eagle chance, but birded. Funny part of the day was when Luke dove into the bamboo too retrieve golf balls, in which he got about ten, yet was covered in dusty yellow bamboo stuff. Luke also snuck up on some rabbits, threw his seven iron, and hit the poor thing, inflicting unknown damage. Luke is an animal abuser, so when your pets are around, lock them up. Great day of golf indeed! I also apologize too the people whose house I hit very hard with a slicing hook of a drive. Boy was it a big boooooommmmm!!!