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Blonde Passenger
A stewardess encountered a blonde sitting in the first class section with a business class ticket. She told her that she would not be able to sit in that section and the blonde refused to move. She said "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and you can't make me move." The stewardess went to the head steward who went to the lady and again asked her to move because she was sitting in the first class section and didn't belong there. Again the lady said, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and you can't make me move."
Finally, in exasperation they went to the pilot and explained the situation. He replied, "Oh, I can take care of that. My wife is a blonde." He went back and whispered to the lady and she immediately got up and walked back to the business class section. The others were curious as to why she responded so quickly for him and asked for an explanation.
The pilot said, "Oh, it was simple. I just told her that the first class section wasn't going to New York.
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51 Days
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days! Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"
Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" the bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"
The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us, so we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together... the side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"
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Blonde Kidnapper
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnaped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnaped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde." the blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning, the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
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Blonde Pilot
A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start it, taught her the basics, and sent her on her way.
After she climbed to 1,000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this." After 2,000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was learning to fly. The instructor watched her climb to 3,000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.
A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said: "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan.
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Family Death
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees' well being, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replied... "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explained to the young girl, "Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest." The blonde very calmly states... "No, I'd be better off here. I need to take my mind off it, and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual... "if you need anything, just let me know."
Well, a few hours pass, and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying. He rushes out to her asking, "What's so bad now... are you going to be okay?"
"No..." exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!!
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