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Click Below for a Printable Version of a Joke: |
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The Porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch runs all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect the money. "You're finished already?," asked the owner of the house. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the 50 dollars. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
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Two Horses
A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she could cut the tail off of one horse, and that worked great until the other horse got its tail caught in a bush. It tore off exactly like the other horse's tail, and the blonde was stuck again.
The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again, the blonde couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor then suggested that she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was two inches taller than the black.
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Three Wishes
Three blondes were left stranded on an island and were unable to find a way off. One day, one of the blondes found a bottle lying on the beach. She took it to her friends, and when they rubbed the bottle, a genie popped out and offered to grant each blonde one wish. The first blonde spoke up, "Genie, I want a way off this island. Make me really smart so that I can think of a way off this island." POOF! The genie turned her into a redhead, and she swam safely to shore.
The second blonde didn't much like the idea of having to swim to shore, but like the first, she too wanted off the island. She said, "Genie, I want a better way off this island. Make me ten times smarter than you made the first girl, so I can think of a better way off this island." POOF! The genie turned her into a brunette, and she cut down a tree, built a boat, and rowed safely to shore.
The third blonde, however, thought that there must be a better way to get to shore, so she wished, "Genie, make me 100 times smarter than you made the other girls so that I can think of a really good way off this island." The Genie thought a minute and waved his wand and POOF! He turned her into a man and she walked across the bridge.
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Planting a Garden
Three sisters, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all decided to grow a garden one year. The brunette planted tulip bulbs and several months later had the most beautiful tulips in the neighborhood. The redhead chose to plant some onion bulbs; and she grew so many onions, she had to give some of them away.... Now the blonde, she planted light bulbs....
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Blonde Driver
A young blonde lady had just purchased a brand new convertible sports car. As she was driving along, she noticed a truck driver pulled over on the side of the road motioning for her to stop. The blonde pulled over and walked up to the truck driver. When she did, he bent down and drew a circle in the dirt on the side of the road. "Stand in that circle and don't get out until I tell you to," he told the blonde.
He then pulled a knife out of his pocket, walked over to her car and slashed all of the leather seats. He looked back over at the blonde to see her reaction, but she was just standing in the circle with a big grin on her face. Wondering why the blonde wasn't mad at him for messing up her new car, the man went back over to his truck and pulled out a sledgehammer which he used to smash out the windows and beat up the blonde's car. This time, however when he looked back over at the blonde, she began to laugh out loud.
At this point, the truck driver began to get angry at the blonde wondering why she was laughing while he was beating up her car. He walked back over to his truck and got a can of gasoline. He poured the gasoline over the car, lit it, and watched it burn to the ground. Once again he looked over at the blonde, but this time, she was rolling on the ground laughing uncontrollably.
The truck driver asked her, "Lady, what's wrong with you? I just destroyed your car, and you're laughing about it?" The blonde answered, "Yeah, but while you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times."
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Designed by Justin Jones
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