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May 4, 1999 - The Start Of It All
May 5, 1999 - The Restart Of It All
May 6, 1999 - Third Time's The Charm
May 7, 1999 - Fourth Attempt At Making A Good First Impression
May 10 - Good News/No News/Bad News
May 12 - Why There's No Entry Today
May 13 - Music To Walk Elephants By
May 14 - Random Brain Splatter
May 15 - We Interrupt This Program To Bring You The Title
May 16 - Mae West, Bowling, And God
May 17 - A Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Waste On Information
May 18 - Nearly the Newspaper of the Bird of Of
May 19 - Breastfeeding An Infantile Belief In Public
May 20 - Somebody Edit Me Before I Bore AGAIN!!
May 22 - A Very Disappointing Crustacean
May 23 - Home Of The Anti-Brave
May 24 - A Genuine Out-Of-House Experience
May 26 - Power Corrupts, And Flower Power Corrupts Absolutely
May 28 - Daring The World To Mobilize Its M&M Reserves
May 29 - Homogenized Idiocy (Now In A Handy, Single-Serving Entry)
May 30 - You Sure Get What You Pay For When You Have A Free Press
May 31 - Memorial Day 1999 (a.k.a. Brooke Shields' 34th Birthday)
June 3 - My First Month As A Journalist
June 4 - Letting The Universe Get Me Drunk Just So It Can Have Its Way With Me
June 5 - Singin' Those "I'll-Never-Forget-To-Charge-Sales-Tax-On-An-Old-Sock-Again" Jailhouse Blues
June 6 - Guest Entry Written By God
June 7 - Yet One More Emissary From My Brain To Yours
June 8 - Four Things I Hate About Me
June 9 - It Ain't The Heat, It's The Stupidity
June 10 - 17 Scoops Of My Life, No Cream
June 11, 999 - Temporally Out Of Order
June 12 - An Entry Sure To Make Total Strangers Want To Clean My Clock
J*ne 13 - Not Just Another Prickle-Prickle In The Park With George And Bernadette Peters
June 14 - You Can Call Me Aljit
June 15 - Finding A Cloud With A Silver Lining Good Enough To Bronze
June 16 - Close Encounters Of The Turf Kind
June 17 - A Calmer Entry (Courtesy A Change In My Medication)
June 18 - The Aspirations Of Half A Chipmunk
June 19 - A Drive-By Goosing Of History
June 20 - Father's Day. It's More Than Just A Good Idea - It's The Law
June 21 - Solstice Time Is Here Again!
June 22 - The Concatenation Continues
June 23 - Gee, Sometimes It Really IS Better To Be A Jester Than A King
June 24 - Cheating Death And Living To Tell The Tale
June 25 - The Truth About Napkins (Part I)
June 26 - The Truth About Napkins (Part II)
June 27 - A Modest Inquiry, A Permanent Blush
June 28 - An Architect's Wet Dream
June 29 - The Miracle Of Central Thinking
June 30 - A Token Advancement Towards Utopia
July 1 - Poking At June With A Stick While Trying Not To Cry
July 2 - Alternatives To Going Off The Deep End
July 3 - A Kafkaesque Holiday Weekend
July 4 - Claiming Kashmir, Hold The Fries
July 5 - An Independence Day Of My Very Own
July 6 - The King Of The Jungle Gets His Big Break
July 7 - Boom Times In Dreamland Sparks New Energy Crisis
July 9 - Valentine's Day In July
July 10 - The Return Of The Wanton Traveler
July 11 - Picking At The Cataracts On My Mind's Eye
July 12 - Message In A Bottle Next To My Phone
July 13 - The Running Of The Bunnies
July 15 - Spy Satellite Reveals Work Is A 4-Letter Word!
July 16 - Happiness Takes A Personal Day
July 17 - Louisiana Shuts My Mouth
July 18 - Requiem For Proportionality
July 19 - Mint Condition Mind Tangle
July 20 - One Small Entry For A Man, One More Giant Embarrassment For Mankind
July 21 - Waterlogged Upload (Attach Life Jackets To Eyeballs SECURELY Before Attempting To Read)
July 22 - Mind Going Once... Twice... ZOOLD!
July 23 - One Journal Or 81 Squabbling Entries??
July 24 - An Entry Pathetically Seeking Attention By Mutilating Its One And Only Tittle
July 25 - Good Dan Or Bad Dan?
July 26 - A Febrifuge For Dacrygelosis
July 27 - "Doctor, does this stream of consciousness look cloudy to you?"
July 28 - Actually A Jester's Journal
July 29 - Sadness, Shame, And Degenerate Steam Wisps
July 30 - From Super Hero To Feng Shui Newbie
Aug. 1 - The Heartbreak Of Crop Envy
Aug. 2 - Don't Touch That Ant!
Aug. 3 - Fried Green Tomato Worms
Aug. 4 - Blair's Bitch Project
Sept. -27 - Smacking A Very Bad Month With A Rolled-Up Entry
Aug. 6 - Learning Wishcraft On The Sly
Aug. 7 - Clarifying My Extradition Practices Despite A Sudden Bout Of Fatherhood
Aug. 9 - Adventures In Dress-Down Dreamland
Aug. 10 - My Terrible Addiction To Dial-A-Wife
Aug. 11 - Stepping In My 100th Entry While Not Watching Where My Writing Was Headed
Aug. 12 - An Evolving Ant Riot
Aug. 13 - One Man's Belated Crusade Against Stupidity
Aug. 14 - Putting My Old Life To Bed Before Eloping With My New One
Aug. 15 - A Glimpse Behind The Scenes
Aug. 16 - Homosexual Marriage: As If Anybody Cares What I Think
Aug. 17 - An Encounter With Organized Pizza
Aug. 18 - Staring Down My Biggest Y2K Fear Head First
Aug. 19 - A 7-Course Picnic Of Quotes Followed By A Sweet Little Pictorial Dessert
Aug. 20 - I'll Show You My Decency If You'll Show Me Yours
Aug. 21 - Almost A Stag Beetle's Entry
Aug. 22 - Muddle On The Disorient Express
Aug. 23 - My Big Half-Day In The Sun
Aug. 24 - I Dunno... What Do One Of You Smart Non-Ohioans Think The Title Should Be?
Aug. 25 - When The Fire In The Belly Meets The Hollow In The Head
Aug. 26 - A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words - Maybe Ten Thousand In The Right Frame Of Mind
Aug. 27 - Some Of The Best & Most Liberating Words I've Ever Read (And Bring A Towel)
Aug. 28 - The Men At The Front Are The Lucky Ones
Aug. 29 - Drudgery Shorn Of Its Glamour
Aug. 31 - Talking To My Guardian Angel Until I'm Blue In The Background
Sept. 1 - "Am I ever bothered by nasty hallucinations?? What an academic question!"
Sept. 2 - Babbling About The Big Beanie Baby Bye-Bye
Sept. 3 - Go Ask Alice 8am-5pm M-F
Sept. 4 - Throwing A Little Light On My Dark View Of Life
Sept. 5 - An Explicit Review Of Martha Stewart's Tips On How To Throw An Eye-Opening Orgy
Sept. 6 - Winking At Ida: A Labor Day Tradition Continues
Sept. 8 - One Day In The Life Of The Humorless Middle Ages
Sept. 9 - Book Sale! Book Sale! Book Sale!
Sept. 10 - It Ain't Heavy - It's My Friday
Sept. 11 - Career Goals Of A Man-Frog
Sept. 13 - Dispatch From Occupied Ohio
Sept. 14 - Unanswerable Questions Answered Anyway
Sept. 15 - Hump Day Around The World And Here At Home
Sept. 16 - A Somewhat Elevated Entry
Sept. 17 - How To Avoid Taking The Fall For Autumn
Sept. 19 - "Get DOWN! Get DOWN! Some Maniac Has Grabbed A Song And Is SINGING IT!!"
Sept. 20 - New Month Resolutions Crammed Into A Borrowed Bottle And Tossed Into A Cyber Sea
Sept. 21 - Calling My Favorite Mahatma
Sept. 22 - Why I Now Scream "O Canada!" Instead Of "Oh God!"
Sept. 24 - How Lice Improved My Sex Life.
Sept. 25 - Salsa, Corn Chips, And Caribou
Sept. 26 - Miracles And Wonders
Sept. 27 - Releasing My Pet Peeves Back Into The Wild
Sept. 28 - Losing My Mind, My Wife, And 9.8 Fingers, All On An Annual Basis
Sept. 29 - Send It To Harvard (Plus 9 Other Things You Can Do With A Pencil)
Sept. 30 - Contemplating Six Degrees Of Separation In A Third Degree World
Oct. 1 - Top Secret Entry (Password Preferred)
Oct. 2 - What October, Canadians, And Mail-Hungry Cats Are REALLY Like!
Oct. 4 - Taking Hollywood To The Cleaners
Oct. 5 - Just Another "Time, Moloch, And Refrigerators" Entry
Oct. 6 - "DANGER! DANGER, Will Robinson! A Serious Entry Has Snuck Into The Journal!"
Oct. 7 - What Next? A Death-Defying Circumnavigation Of The Block?!
Oct. 8 - Writing More BS Before Breakfast Than Most People Write All Day
Oct. 9 - A Man, A Woman, And A Razor
Oct. 10 - If It Weren't For All Those Damn Street Corner Christophers, It'd Be My Favorite Holiday
Oct. 11 - Hunted, Stalked, Trapped, And... Smirked At?!
Oct. 12 - For Claire, With, You Know, Love
Oct. 13 - I'll Tell You My Problems If You'll Tell Me Yours
Oct. 14 - An Analysis Of The Teddy Bear As A Labor-Saving Device
Oct. 15 - This Past Week : The Secret History
