Canadiens 5, Bulls 3

Overall Record: 3-2-0

Record With Beer: 3-1-0

Record Without Beer: 0-1-0

The Canadiens, or should I say, the Aeros beat the Bulls for the first time in team history. The Bulls knocked the Canadiens out of the playoffs last year, so it was sweet-revenge to post a victory against the hockey team with a basketball name.

This was supposedly the last game that the team would wear the Habs jerseys. After next week's bye the team will be sure to confuse the hell out of the other teams and league officials when they don the new-look Aeros sweaters.

I notched my first 4-goal game of the season and have been carrying the offensive load on my back while Rogie has been suffering from a bit of a scoring slump, even though he did add the other goal of the game.

Courtney Carrier, the team's netminder, has added a rants page of his own, documenting the trials and tribulations of a goaltender with a 3.40 Goals Against Average. However, to give credit where credit is due, his GAA has been on the decline as the season has progressed, proving that the pre-season off-ice accusations of molesting Collies at the local dog pound did have an effect on his performance (both on and off-ice) early in the season. It takes a big man to admit that he had syphilis and where he got it from. Those three months at Trembling Hills really paid off for him and the team is reaping the benefits.

We can all only hope and pray that Carrier refrains from constantly referencing to his genitalia in the rants. I'm not afraid to call the police.

The Canadiens have been on a three-game winning streak and have won two straight after hearing that Vince McMahon has acquired the team, who has implemented a system consisting of hard work, dedication, and discipline. The team has stayed out of the box, resorting to post-game extracurricular activities in which two players were lost to suspension, but consequently got the team riled up for the Bulls game.

Speaking of the suspensions handed down, since O'Connor's suspension there has been the sudden disappearance of the league scorekeeper. Coincidence? I think not. A reliable source has told me that Billy and the scorekeeper were seen on numerous occasions last week at McDonalds propositioning the Hamburglar for a threesome in which Billy would be the meat in, what they referred to, a "McYucky Sandwich."

As mentioned earlier, next week is a bye week, so that gives Chuck two weeks to rest his ankle and divorce his wife. Yup, I'm going to hell...